Iran Announces Strait of Hormuz Under Strict Military Control, Calls US Pirates

KEY POINTS

•On April 8, Iran's military declared it resumed strict control over the strategic Strait of Hormuz.
•This move was in response to the US enforcing a blockade on Iranian ports, which Iran labeled 'piracy' and 'sea robbery.'
•Despite Iran announcing the strait was open for commercial ships, many vessels approached but then turned away amid continued tensions.

On April 8, Iran's military dropped the mic by claiming it has 'returned control' of the Strait of Hormuz to, well, themselves—because why trust free movement when you've got Armed Forces to micromanage a major global oil artery? The dramatic comeback came after U.S. blocked Iran's ports in what Tehran calls acts of 'piracy' and 'sea robbery.' Despite a fragile ceasefire wanting an open strait, only a handful of commercial vessels tiptoed through after Iran proclaimed it open Friday morning. Meanwhile, a fleet of ships flirted with the strait but chickened out, all under the watchful eye of USS Canberra posting selfies from the Arabian Sea. Trump greeted the news with the kind of certainty one reserves for Twitter breakfast spoilers, tweeting praise for the strait's 'full openness' as stocks jumped and oil prices took a dirt nap. Iran’s military spokesperson doubled down: until the US lifts the blockade, expect everything to remain 'tightly controlled and unchanged,' which is diplomat-speak for 'Nope, not happening yet!'