US News
ICE Plans Mega Warehouses to Hotel 100,000 People, Calls It 'Humane Detention'
Because nothing screams 'civil' detention like a budget-busting warehouse party.
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Republicans Rent Vaccine Skepticism But Haven't Signed The Lease Yet
The 'Make America Healthy Again' (MAHA) movement, led by Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr., is trying to slap a wellness band-aid on the GOP’s midterm prospects by hawking elusive vaccine skepticism while promising moms a shiny menu of organic food ban…
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Luxury $54 Candle Now New York’s De Facto Bathroom Air Quality Officer
Since 2015, Keap’s 'Wood Cabin' candle, spawned in Brooklyn and now from Kingston, NY, has stealthily infiltrated NYC restaurant bathrooms at spots like Smithereens, Cervo’s, and Schmuck. For just $54.50 a pop, diners breathe in cedar and palo santo instead…
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Couple’s 12-Hour Hike: Because Nothing Says ‘Get to Know You’ Like Blisters
Eibhlis Gale-Coleman, done with soporific dinner dates by 2024, proposed a radical 12-hour hiking challenge on the third date with Greg. Their romantic escapade took place in the soggy, fog-choked Yorkshire Dales National Park’s briar patch—specifically tac…
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ICE Plans Mega Warehouses to Hotel 100,000 People, Calls It 'Humane Detention'
Because nothing screams 'civil' detention like a budget-busting warehouse party.
In 2026, ICE decided 'small and cozy' is overrated and is splurging $38.3 billion of their $45 billion 'One, Big, Beauti...
Photo by hookle.app on Unsplash
BusinessRead More
Meta Declares ‘No More Performance Purges,’ Despite Talking About Annual 5% Cuts
Mark Zuckerberg’s company is now confused about how to cut jobs quietly.
Meta, the social media overlord helmed by Mark Zuckerberg, is currently tossing out confusing signals about layoffs. Las...
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World NewsRead More
Munich Security Conference Sees Russia Moving as Fast as Garden Snail Diplomacy
Congresswoman, policy chief flock together to admire European defense spending snail-pace progress.
At this year's Munich Security Conference, famed for mixing high-stakes global politics with conference-room coffee, Con...
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TechnologyRead More
Sony Folds Headphones But Still Charges You to Fold Your Wallet
Noise cancellation now includes silencing your bank account.
February’s tech deals arrived fashionably late but with the eagerness of a sugar crash—hosting discounts for valentine’s...
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BusinessRead More
Man Outsmarts FBI By Sharing Lawyer Secrets With AI, Forgets AI Snitches Too
Turns out Chatbots don’t mind being legal snitches when $150M is on the line.
Bradley Heppner, finance startup guy and alleged $150 million fraud star, thought hiring lawyers and spilling his defens...
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TechnologyRead More
Amazon’s Ring Runs Super Bowl Dystopia Ad, Cancels Creepy Cop Cam Deal
Heroic dog-finder turned neighborhood Big Brother loses a partner overnight.
In a plot twist worthy of a premium Black Mirror episode, Amazon’s Ring premiered their Super Bowl ad in February 2026, ...
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Couples Running Restaurants Share Tips on Not Killing Each Other Yet
Because dividing kitchen duties is easier than divorcing over lasagna.
Between February 9-22, Verizon teamed up with Pre Shift to spill the tea on running tiny bars and restaurants without yo...
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PoliticsRead More
Republicans Rent Vaccine Skepticism But Haven't Signed The Lease Yet
MAHA voters remain elusive like 'some assembly required' furniture from their childhood vaccine schedules.
The 'Make America Healthy Again' (MAHA) movement, led by Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr., is trying to slap a wel...
Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash
BusinessRead More
Luxury $54 Candle Now New York’s De Facto Bathroom Air Quality Officer
Because nothing says fine dining like sniffing your way through Wood Cabin bathroom aromas.
Since 2015, Keap’s 'Wood Cabin' candle, spawned in Brooklyn and now from Kingston, NY, has stealthily infiltrated NYC re...
Photo by Mika Baumeister on Unsplash
Weird NewsRead More
Couple’s 12-Hour Hike: Because Nothing Says ‘Get to Know You’ Like Blisters
Who needs candlelight when you have bog, fog, and sheep for ambiance?
Eibhlis Gale-Coleman, done with soporific dinner dates by 2024, proposed a radical 12-hour hiking challenge on the third...
Photo by Eva M. on Unsplash
World NewsRead More
Trump Sends Giant Ship That Took Three Weeks Just To Decide To Leave Caribbean
USS Gerald R. Ford’s epic road trip to the Middle East begins after Caribbean vacation.
President Trump, apparently assuming aircraft carriers enjoy a good tropical vacation, ordered the USS Gerald R. Ford to...
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BusinessRead More
Salesforce CEO Tries ICE Joke, Forgets It’s Not 2006 Stand-Up Night
Nothing like a border patrol punchline to brighten an already tumbling stock price.
At Salesforce's 2026 "Company Kickoff," CEO Marc Benioff asked employees who’d traveled internationally to stand up and ...
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PoliticsRead More
Grand Jury Rejects Trump DOJ Charges So Often They’re Thinking of a Loyalty Card
Even loyal Republicans are RSVP’ing ‘maybe’ at Trump’s last party.
As 2026 tips its hat to Trump, the MAGA circus sees resistance popping up faster than bad toupees at a Trump rally. The ...
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PoliticsRead More
Trump and Schumer's Political Soap Opera Stars Old NYC Connections and Mutual Distrust
They fight publicly but text like frenemies swiping right on city grudges.
Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer and former President Trump keep their weird NYC bromance alive like a cabaret stuck...
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BusinessRead More
Valentine’s Day Candy Hearts Now Begging Couples to Split Rent
Because 'KISS ME' just can’t cover skyrocketing rose prices anymore.
This Valentine's Day, the economy’s romance police have spoken—those sweet candy hearts are swapping 'LOVE BUG' for hard...
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TechnologyRead More
European Bike Shrinks Into Walls Because Your Hallway Is A Closet
Tenways invents foldy bike for apartments smaller than a shoebox.
Tenways just unleashed the CGO Compact e-bike on Europe, specially engineered to disappear like your ambition after work...
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TechnologyRead More
Rivian CEO Declares Driving Yourself In 2030 as Un-American as Dial-Up
Soon it’ll be crazy to buy a car that won’t chauffeur your kids and shop for snacks.
In a moment that sounds like it came straight out of a sci-fi midlife crisis, Rivian CEO RJ Scaringe announced during a ...
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EntertainmentRead More
Ernie Hudson’s 80-Year Workout Plan: Survive Everything Except Ghosts
His biggest goal? Just stay alive. Spoiler: pushups help.
Ernie Hudson, the 'Ghostbusters' star who never expected to see 80, is defying Father Time by doing pushups, Pilates, an...
Photo by Bagus Alif Widhiwipati on Unsplash
BusinessRead More
Goldman Sachs Lawyer Quits After Epstein Files Drop Like Hot Stocks
Turns out being co-chair of 'Reputational Risk' is riskier than it sounds.
Kathryn Ruemmler, Goldman Sachs' Chief Legal Officer and ex-Obama White House counsel, regrettably announced on a Thursd...
Photo by Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash
TechnologyRead More
Tech Guru Warns AI Jobpocalypse Worse Than COVID, Internet Loses Mind
60 million saw it; reactions ranged from 'oh no' to 'meh, AI hype'.
Matt Shumer, CEO of OthersideAI, dropped a 5,000-word viral essay titled 'Something Big is Coming,' claiming AI could ro...