Business
Billionaire Throws $2 Billion At Meta, Hopes AI Stops Stock From Flatlining
Because nothing screams future like $135 billion sunk into data centers and a steady 3.5 billion users.
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US Adds 130,000 Jobs in January, Revises Last Year’s Hilarious Inflation of 584,000 Down to 181,000
In an epic display of schedule dyslexia, the monthly jobs report showed up on a Wednesday instead of its sexy Friday slot, thanks to a partial government shutdown. January 2026 added 130,000 jobs—double the expected 65,000! Meanwhile, the unemployment rate …
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Man Cleared in Savannah Guthrie Mom Case Because 'Not the Suspect,' Honestly
In the latest episode of 'Who Took Nancy Guthrie?,' FBI and local cops grilled a man living 60 miles south of Tucson after photos of a masked figure outside her home surfaced. The 84-year-old mom of Today show co-host Savannah vanished over a week ago, twit…
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Uber’s AI Grocery Bot Remembers Your Brand Loyalty, Judge Not Your Diet
On the horizon of 2024’s relentless tech convenience wave, Uber has unveiled 'Cart Assistant,' an AI sidekick in the Uber Eats app aimed at transforming your mundane grocery runs into marvels of digital delight. Launching with features that allow you to tex…
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Billionaire Throws $2 Billion At Meta, Hopes AI Stops Stock From Flatlining
Because nothing screams future like $135 billion sunk into data centers and a steady 3.5 billion users.
On May 22, 2025, Bill Ackman’s Pershing Square chilled at The Pool in New York while quietly betting a cool $2 billion—r...
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US NewsRead More
FAA Shuts Down El Paso Airspace For Ten Days Over ‘Cartel Drone Drama’
Officials clueless, Pentagon testing weapons, FAA panics like it’s 9/11 again.
On February 7, 2026, El Paso’s airspace got ghosted for 10 whole days thanks to what Secretary Sean Duffy heroically dec...
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TechnologyRead More
Microsoft’s Notepad Got Hacked By MarkDown to Mark Your Downfall
Clicking a link in your humble Notepad file could perform digital voodoo.
On Tuesday, Microsoft bravely announced a fix for a terrifying vulnerability in everyone's favorite humble text editor, ...
Photo by Nandha Kumar on Unsplash
TechnologyRead More
Big Tech Plans to Lay Off Half Their Engineers, Upgrade to AI Overlords
Because who needs humans when you can pay GPUs more than salaries?
Steve Yegge, a self-declared software veteran who rubbed elbows with Jeff Bezos during Amazon's early wildfire years and...
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PoliticsRead More
House Democrats Debate Loud Rebels Versus Silent Snobs For Trump Show
Because why disrupt when you can just sulk quietly or skip class entirely?
In a dazzling display of political subtlety, House Democrats held a whip meeting Wednesday where Hakeem Jeffries laid ou...
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Goldman Sachs Raises Desk-Dinner Budget $5, Wall Street Still Starving
Because when your day ends at 8 p.m., cake costs serious green.
Goldman Sachs, home to nearly 50,000 caffeine-fueled deal junkies, announced a lavish $5 boost in its late-night office ...
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Couple Turns House Into Coffee Shop, Child Builds Fortress of Pillows in Annex
Home is where the cortado is, and the 3-year-old’s nap war rages on.
In January 2026, Sydney Wayser and Isaac Watters merged their life, love, and LA home by launching Granada, a coffee sho...
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US Adds 130,000 Jobs in January, Revises Last Year’s Hilarious Inflation of 584,000 Down to 181,000
Government shutdown delays jobs report, but not the magic job-vanishing act.
In an epic display of schedule dyslexia, the monthly jobs report showed up on a Wednesday instead of its sexy Friday slo...
Photo by Austin Distel on Unsplash
US NewsRead More
Man Cleared in Savannah Guthrie Mom Case Because 'Not the Suspect,' Honestly
FBI hunts masked mystery while guy at house insists he’s just here for Netflix.
In the latest episode of 'Who Took Nancy Guthrie?,' FBI and local cops grilled a man living 60 miles south of Tucson aft...
Photo by Behnam Mohsenzadeh on Unsplash
TechnologyRead More
Uber’s AI Grocery Bot Remembers Your Brand Loyalty, Judge Not Your Diet
Because who else will faithfully add that artisanal oat milk you can’t live without?
On the horizon of 2024’s relentless tech convenience wave, Uber has unveiled 'Cart Assistant,' an AI sidekick in the Ube...
Photo by Gioele Fazzeri on Unsplash
US NewsRead More
Army’s New Software Ends Hourlong Meetings, Leaves Generals Wondering What To Do
Turns out soldiers prefer clicking save over staff meetings - who knew?
In an effort spearheaded by Maj. Gen. Patrick Ellis, the US Army’s new Next Generation Command and Control (NGC2) softwa...
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US NewsRead More
FAA Declares El Paso No-Fly Zone Because You Know, Security Or Something
Grounded flights, baffled locals, and no clue what’s really going on.
On a Tuesday night surprise nobody wanted, the FAA slapped El Paso, TX, with a 10-mile no-fly donut that kills all fligh...
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UK Wealth Managers Panic as AI Reads Their Clients’ Pay Stubs Better Than Them
Turns out robots can do your taxes without your bank account crying.
In a dazzling display of human obsolescence, UK wealth management shares took a nosedive on Wednesday morning after Altr...
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HealthRead More
Hospitals Need a Million Medics, Find Less Than Half; Humans > AI, Still Hiring
Waiting rooms grow while rural hospitals cry into their empty scrubs.
Meet US healthcare's awkward Tinder scene: 702,000 open medical jobs each month but only 306,000 willing singles—or work...
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Marriott Pays $23M to End Romance with Sonder, Guests Pay for Heartbreak
Some breakups cost dinner; Marriott’s cost $23 million and ruined vacations.
In a breakup that’s so costly it belongs in a soap opera, Marriott dunked $23 million down the emotional drain terminati...
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PoliticsRead More
Trump Demands Democrats Be Hung For Saying ‘Don’t Break The Law’
Because reminding soldiers of the Constitution is apparently sedition worthy now.
In a political saga that smells like a tangled GOP fever dream, a bipartisan band of veteran Democrats including Sen. El...
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World NewsRead More
Ukraine’s Starlink Registration Turns Into Blackmail Hot Potato Festival
Apparently, signing up your satellite internet could mean criminal charges or a $230 bribe.
In an epic tech twist, Kyiv has put SpaceX's Starlink on a whitelist tighter than your last VIP club bouncer, all to kee...
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US NewsRead More
FBI Hunts Full-Faced Ski Mask After It Decides Home Invasion Is New Hobby
Nothing says 'friendly neighborhood' like armed visitors tampering with doorbell cams.
On February 1, 2026, Nancy Guthrie, an 84-year-old Arizona resident and the mother of 'Today' show anchor Savannah Guthr...
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Masked Mystery Man Steals Spotlight While Savannah's Mom Pulls Vanishing Act
FBI says deleted evidence might include a ‘recording device removal’ Easter egg hunt.
In a real-life episode of 'Law & Order: Tucson,' 84-year-old Nancy Guthrie went MIA from her Catalina Foothills home on ...
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TechnologyRead More
Toyota Finally Shoots For EV Glory, Bets Highlander Will Save Their Soul
Because when your 20-year gas SUV legacy meets electric, chaos is guaranteed.
In a move that screams 'we’ve been slow, but not asleep,' Toyota unveiled their 2027 Highlander EV, a three-row midsize ...