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JPMorgan CEO Expects Middle East Peace but Wants No Missiles on His WiFi
Because nothing says stability like $10 billion data centers dodging ballistic missiles.
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Eater's New App Turns Food Lovers Into Professional List Hoarders
The Eater app just went full foodie paparazzi with a new update letting you explore where chefs like Eric Ripert crown their 'Go-To Power Lunches' and JosĂ© AndrĂ©s fishes out DC's seafood secrets. You can create your own gourmet blacklistsâer, listsâlike MeiâŠ
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Ares Tells Investors âWe Heard You Asking for $1.2 Billion, Hereâs Halfâ
In the glamorous Q1 financial drama, Ares Strategic Income Fund faced investor-energy levels akin to a toddler demanding every toy simultaneously: a whopping 11.6% of shares (~$1.2 billion) tried to exit stage left by February 28 with their cash. CEO MichaeâŠ
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Nintendo Plans Switch 2 Glut, then Panics Over US No-Shows
Nintendo, the stalwart titan of pixelated joy, announced a 33% production cut for its Switch 2 consoles this quarterâfrom six million dream units to a modest four millionâbecause apparently Uncle Sam wasnât ready to switch up. This sobering update dropped pâŠ
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JPMorgan CEO Expects Middle East Peace but Wants No Missiles on His WiFi
Because nothing says stability like $10 billion data centers dodging ballistic missiles.
Jamie Dimon, JPMorgan's ringmaster of financial optimism, claimed on a crisp Tuesday in Washington DC that despite Iranâ...
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Trumpâs Secret Iran Peace Talks: Waiting on Tehran Like Itâs Uber Eats
Everyoneâs texting each other but no oneâs picking up the peace call yet.
In the latest episode of âIs This Real?â, Trumpâs team is cooking up high-stakes peace talks with Iran, ideally by Thurs...
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Apple Watch SE 3 Pretends to Be Premium, Skips Tiny Heart Drama
Now with S10 chip, but still no voodoo like blood oxygen or EKG.
Apple's latest Apple Watch SE 3 dropped to a bargain-basement-unicorn $219 at Amazon on the 40mm GPS model, with LTE jum...
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TSA Agents On Unpaid Strike Turn Airports Into Waiting Room Warzones
Four-hour security waits now sponsored by government paychecks that never arrived.
On March 23, 2026, travelers at Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson International faced security lines so legendary they might ...
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Eater's New App Turns Food Lovers Into Professional List Hoarders
Now you can stalk chefsâ dinner plans and pretend to have 'insider info.'
The Eater app just went full foodie paparazzi with a new update letting you explore where chefs like Eric Ripert crown t...
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Ares Tells Investors âWe Heard You Asking for $1.2 Billion, Hereâs Halfâ
Because who doesnât love partial refunds on billion-dollar breakups?
In the glamorous Q1 financial drama, Ares Strategic Income Fund faced investor-energy levels akin to a toddler demanding...
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TechnologyRead More â
Nintendo Plans Switch 2 Glut, then Panics Over US No-Shows
Four million made, but six million dreamedâAmerica hits snooze button.
Nintendo, the stalwart titan of pixelated joy, announced a 33% production cut for its Switch 2 consoles this quarterâfro...
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Married Woman Travels Solo So Husband Can Chase Golf Balls in Peace
Turns out 'golf widow' is a title worth bragging about.
Jaime Mazur, a certified sommelier since 2018 who's poured over vineyards from Michigan to France, embraces solo trips t...
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Denmark Election Ends When Nobody Can Form a Government, Shockingly
Danish voters get democracy with a side of political deadlock for dessert.
As Danes queued up Monday, March 24, 2026, in what felt like a Euro-election Grand Prix (France, Germany, Italy, Sloveni...
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TechnologyRead More â
AI Users Pull Ahead While The Rest Flail Like Dial-Up Modems in 2026
Master prompts or become one of AIâs lost and confused wandering peasants.
Anthropic, the company behind Claude (the AI thatâs apparently smarter than your intern), dropped a huge report in March...
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DoorDash Turns Delivery Drivers Into Shelf Paparazzi and AI Whisperers
Because gig workers delivering food was apparently too boring.
In a stunning pivot that screams 2026 desperation, DoorDash now wants its gig workers not just delivering lattes but als...
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Ex-Navy Pilot Starts PAC To Fly Democrats Back To CenterâAnd Hope
Mikieâs 'Mission to Deliver' sounds less like politics, more like FedEx on caffeine.
New Jerseyâs Governor Mikie Sherrill, who transitioned from Navy helicopter pilot to political air traffic controller, i...
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AI Kills Jobs, Suggests Everyone Become 'Mini CEO' of Their Laundry
Perplexity boss pitches AI job apocalypse as a startup branding opportunity.
On the bright side of robot domination, Aravind Srinivas, Perplexity CEO (yep, the AI search engine startup cashing $20 ...
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Politicians, Athletes Banned From Betting Unless They Master Mind Reading First
Kalshi now pre-blocks insider traders because after-the-fact bans were sooo 2025.
Kalshi, a New York City prediction markets app, announced on a Monday more anticlimactic than your Monday, that itâs ins...
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Pentagon Shuts Corridor, Escorts Journalists Like Theyâre VIPs In A Spy Movie
New rules say journalism is NATO-level clearanceâbring your own bodyguard.
In a bold move worthy of a Tom Clancy novel, on Monday, Pentagon mouthpiece Sean Parnell announced a fresh media policy ...
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Senator Confirmed as DHS Chief Despite Party's Internal Broken Rib Drama
One senator votes no, demanding answers about assault before Chair chairs chair.
Markwayne Mullin (R-Okla.) just climbed the DHS throne, confirmed 54-45 mainly with GOP votes. This came during the hott...
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FCC Declares Your Friendly Neighborhood Foreign Router National Security Threat
Turns out your Wi-Fi may be a spy and your breakfast toaster next.
In a move no one saw coming, the Federal Communications Commission decided in December to ban all future foreign-made dr...
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Microsoft Promises Self-Sufficient AI by Hiring New Overlord, Again
Mustafa Suleymanâs superintelligence dream just got its corporate VP life coach.
In a move that screams 'Letâs build Skynet but with HR,' Microsoft welcomed Ali Farhadi as corporate VP under Mustafa Su...
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Man Survives Air Canada Plane Crash, Plans To Fly Again Because Why Not
Turbulence was the appetizer; crash landing, the main course of gratitude.
On March 22, 22-year-old Ithaca College student Jack Cabot was minding his own business on the ill-fated Air Canada Flig...
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Parents Told To Consolidate Loans Like They Consolidate Existential Dread By April 1
Miss deadline and enjoy paying up to $65K per kid forever, or close enough.
In a plot twist only Washington could write, parent PLUS borrowers have until April 1, 2026, to consolidate their loans ...