Hedge Funds Celebrate Small Wins While S&P 500 Pretends to Care
KEY POINTS
- •Citadel’s billionaire Ken Griffin reported a 1.4% gain in its flagship Wellington fund during November 2025.
- •Balyasny boosted its 2025 returns to 15.3% with a 2.5% gain in November, showcasing strong performance on $30 billion assets.
- •ExodusPoint increased its year-to-date returns to 15.6% after generating 1.2% returns in November.
- •The S&P 500 index barely moved, gaining 0.1% thanks to strong Nvidia earnings and solid Apple iPhone sales.
In a miraculous display of financial wizardry barely lifting a somber eyebrow, Citadel’s billionaire Ken Griffin stuffed an extra 1.4% into the flagship Wellington fund’s pocket in November. His Tactical Trading fund, a Frankenstein mash-up of quant robots and human guesswork, flaunted a brag-worthy 16.3% 2025 gain after greasing up 2.6% last month. Balyasny flexed with a 2.5% November sprint on their $30 billion exercise bike, cruising to a neat 15.3% year-to-date flex. Meanwhile, ExodusPoint raised its pinky with a 1.2% bump, summing up to 15.6% in 2025. All this while the S&P 500 limped along with a stuttering 0.1% gain, propped up by Nvidia’s chip party and Apple’s iPhone grandeur. Pinpoint Asset Management sobered the party with its 1% loss. So yes, hedge fund tycoons quietly outshone the sluggish index, while the market nervous-waved with tech stock sell-offs and tactical rebounds.
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Some hedge funds quietly raked in double-digit gains while the S&P 500 barely managed a sniffle. They celebrate 1.4% monthly wins like lottery jackpots while the rest of us pretend 0.1% gains are exciting. Spoiler: they have money robots and calculators; we have caffeine.
Ken Griffin’s hedge fund pulls a 1.4% gain and suddenly it’s party time. Meanwhile, the S&P 500 gets a participation trophy for 0.1%. Same market, different universe.
Watching hedge funds’ November performance is like seeing marathon runners jog while your couch potato gains 0.1% and calls it a victory.
Source: Businessinsider | Published: 12/1/2025 | Author: Bradley Saacks
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