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Senate Democrats Demand ICE Officers Show Faces While Patrolling Unseen Borders
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Politics

Senate Democrats Demand ICE Officers Show Faces While Patrolling Unseen Borders

Because nothing says transparency like banning masks and secret roving patrols.

On January 26, 2026, Senate Democrats, led by Chuck Schumer of New York, declared that federal agents, notably ICE offic...

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Pope Leo Declares Trump Policies Heretical, Demands a Heavenly Rethink
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Politics

Pope Leo Declares Trump Policies Heretical, Demands a Heavenly Rethink

When the Vatican sounds firmer than your last ex about bad behavior.

In an epic celestial showdown worthy of Netflix's next binge, Chicago-born Pope Leo—ushered in 2025 as the American firs...

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Two Federal Agents Fire Guns and Then Take Three Days Off Like It’s a Spa Weekend
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US News

Two Federal Agents Fire Guns and Then Take Three Days Off Like It’s a Spa Weekend

Because nothing says ‘professional responsibility’ like a mid-shooting coffee break.

In a landmark event that surely redefines workforce efficiency, two federal officers pulled the trigger during the tragi...

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iPhone Camera App Spends Years Perfecting 'Doing Less' So You Can Do More
Photo by Dimitris Chapsoulas on Unsplash
Technology

iPhone Camera App Spends Years Perfecting 'Doing Less' So You Can Do More

Introducing 'Process Zero,' because real photographers love complicated hands-off magic.

Halide, the iPhone camera app that apparently moonlighted as a zen monk, launched its Mark III update after years of pai...

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Tesla Loses EV Crown, Misses Robotaxi Deadlines, Still On Wall Street Throne
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Business

Tesla Loses EV Crown, Misses Robotaxi Deadlines, Still On Wall Street Throne

Selling fewer cars than BYD, Tesla tanks yet investors just smile and nod.

In the thrilling saga of Tesla’s recent flops and dreams, Chinese EV juggernaut BYD shocked the world by delivering 2.26...

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American Chefs Open Paris Bistro, Battle 100 Years of Dust and French Indifference
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Business

American Chefs Open Paris Bistro, Battle 100 Years of Dust and French Indifference

They’ve resurrected 1970s décor and kidney dishes nobody asked for.

John Morisano pivoted from video games at Activision to co-running L’Arrêt in Paris’ 7th arrondissement alongside Masham...

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DOJ Promises Epsteins Files Soon, After Less Than 1% Peeked Since Dec 19
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Politics

DOJ Promises Epsteins Files Soon, After Less Than 1% Peeked Since Dec 19

Millions of documents reviewed slower than your grandma with dial-up internet.

The Justice Department is still fumbling over Jeffrey Epstein's files, claiming that after snowstorm-level delays past t...

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Greenville’s Waterfalls, Dinosaurs, and Mini-Golf Await Your Existential Crisis
Photo by Ashes Sitoula on Unsplash
US News

Greenville’s Waterfalls, Dinosaurs, and Mini-Golf Await Your Existential Crisis

Because nothing says 'life goals' like T. rexes, planes, and overpriced ice cream.

Greenville, South Carolina, a city that casually snagged 'South's Best Cities in 2025' by Southern Living and landed in ...

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Trump’s Armada So Huge, Iranians Thinking It’s A Fleet Versus Their WiFi
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World News

Trump’s Armada So Huge, Iranians Thinking It’s A Fleet Versus Their WiFi

Warns ‘next attack will be far worse’ but still open to a cordial chat.

President Trump, in a diplomatic opera worthy of Shakespeare mixed with WWE theatrics, urged Iran to 'quickly make a dea...

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Amazon Cuts 16,000 Jobs Because Bureaucracy Was Officially Too Much to Pretend
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Business

Amazon Cuts 16,000 Jobs Because Bureaucracy Was Officially Too Much to Pretend

Turns out “cultural reset” means your job was on thin ice since October.

Welcome to 2026, where AI isn’t just taking your job but kudos from Angie’s List (now just Angi), which slashed 350 role...

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Elon Musk’s Grok AI Loses Antisemitism Test, Wins Participation Trophy
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Technology

Elon Musk’s Grok AI Loses Antisemitism Test, Wins Participation Trophy

ADL scores six bots; Grok dignifiedly finishes dead last in sensitivity race.

In a stellar display of algorithmic humility dated January 2026, the Anti-Defamation League (ADL) rated six major large ...

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Fed Chair Facing DOJ Probe Over Spotless DC Renovation Integrity
Photo by Amira El Fohail on Unsplash
Business

Fed Chair Facing DOJ Probe Over Spotless DC Renovation Integrity

Apparently honest construction plans are now a federal crime.

On January 11, 2026, Jerome Powell, the ever-plaid-shirt-mild Fed Chair, found himself subpoenaed by a grand jury amid a...

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Amazon Announces 'Forever Layoffs' To Make Employees Disappear Like Alexa Skills
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Business

Amazon Announces 'Forever Layoffs' To Make Employees Disappear Like Alexa Skills

Cutting 16,000 more jobs because efficiency apparently checks in waves, not once.

Just three months after Amazon axed 14,000 jobs with the subtlety of an overenthusiastic robot vacuum, it’s firing anoth...

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South Carolina Becomes America’s Biggest Crowd Magnet While Vermont Perfects The Art of Disappearing
Photo by Karolina Bobek on Unsplash
US News

South Carolina Becomes America’s Biggest Crowd Magnet While Vermont Perfects The Art of Disappearing

One state grows by 1.5%, the other shrinks quietly into obscurity like a Vermont snowflake.

From July 1, 2024, to July 1, 2025, South Carolina said 'Come on in, y'all!' and grew its population by a whopping 1.5%,...

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Billionaire Boss Yells ‘Speak Up!’ While Quietly Reffering Fear of Trump
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Business

Billionaire Boss Yells ‘Speak Up!’ While Quietly Reffering Fear of Trump

Reid Hoffman throws shade at CEOs hoping silence outlasts political storms.

Reid Hoffman, LinkedIn's cofounder and $2 million super PAC bankroll for Biden’s 2024 New Hampshire write-in campaign, s...

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Tiffany Ditches Silver for Gold Because Rich People Wanna Flaunt Mo' Bling
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Business

Tiffany Ditches Silver for Gold Because Rich People Wanna Flaunt Mo' Bling

Silver’s up 170%, Tiffany says ‘Nah,’ chasing that diamond drip instead.

In a plot twist that screams 'platinum over pewter,' Tiffany & Co.—the OG silver specialist since 1851 and Paris Exposit...

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Senators Unite to Agree Kristi Noem Is Terrible After Voting for Her
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Politics

Senators Unite to Agree Kristi Noem Is Terrible After Voting for Her

Nothing says 'I messed up' like a bipartisan collective eye-roll.

On a delightful Tuesday Senate drama, Homeland Security Sec. Kristi Noem—confirmed by GOP stalwarts Thom Tillis and Lisa...

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Amazon Accidentally Sent Layoff Alarm At 5 AM; Employees Panic in Slacks
Photo by Kamil Foatov on Unsplash
Business

Amazon Accidentally Sent Layoff Alarm At 5 AM; Employees Panic in Slacks

Project Dawn arrives too early, just like thousands of soon-to-be ex-employees.

On a sprightly Tuesday morning, Amazon's Colleen Aubrey—Senior VP of AWS Solutions—sparked a company-wide panic by accid...

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Crypto’s Last-Ditch Bid Before Congress Starts Campaign Season Panic
Photo by Jacob McGowin on Unsplash
Politics

Crypto’s Last-Ditch Bid Before Congress Starts Campaign Season Panic

When midterms hit, crypto lobbyists know it’s time to Houdini out of bipartisan bills.

On February 4, 2025, Capitol Hill hosted Rep. Glenn Thompson (R-PA), Senators Tim Scott (R-SC) & John Boozman (R-AK), Re...

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Meta Drops $6.4M to Sell Off Wild Data Fortresses in Middle of Nowhere
Photo by Daniel Schludi on Unsplash
Technology

Meta Drops $6.4M to Sell Off Wild Data Fortresses in Middle of Nowhere

Because nothing says ‘rural revitalization’ like a giant server barn in Altoona, Iowa.

In a plot twist only 2025 could dream up, Meta funneled a hefty $6.4 million into ads portraying data centers as rural j...

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