Companies Rush to Dump $1,000 Into Babies' Trump Accounts Like It's Crypto
KEY POINTS
- •Starting July 2025, the government will deposit $1,000 into Trump Accounts for babies born between 2025 and 2028.
- •Several companies including Bank of New York Mellon, Charles Schwab, Chipotle, Turning Point USA, Comcast, Chime, Continental Resources, IBM, and Intel have pledged to match or add to the contributions.
- •IBM uniquely requires parents to invest $4,000 within two years to unlock an additional $1,000, aiming to incentivize early financial discipline in newborns.
Launching July 2025, 'Trump Accounts' will gift $1,000 to American babies born from 2025-2028, turning toddlers into tiny capitalists overnight. Wall Street’s finest—from Bank of New York Mellon’s Robin Vince to Charles Schwab’s Rick Wurster—are matching the $1,000 government starter, like a financial group cuddle party. Even Chipotle, yes, the burrito joint, throws cash at infant vape investment dreams. Political nonprofit Turning Point USA pitches in while mourning Charlie Kirk, showing capitalism really runs in the family. IBM sweetens the pot by adding another $1,000 if you pony up $4,000 within two years, proving if you pay to play, your baby might just HODL for real. CEO Harold Hamm and tech titan Intel jump on the Trump Train to pump 'future innovators' with cash, making it rain like it’s the 1920s but with more spreadsheets and fewer flappers.
Share the Story
Banks and burritos team up to throw cash at infants’ Trump Accounts because feeding your baby's stock portfolio sounds every parent's dream. Forget college funds — it's all about starting capitalism with a diaper change.
Being born in 2025 means getting a $1,000 head start on capitalism, which sounds adorable until you realize toddlers will have better portfolios than most Gen Zers.
Thank God Chipotle is matching investments in Trump Accounts. Nothing says wealth-building like toddler trusts fueled by burrito money and political branding.
Source: Businessinsider | Published: 2/14/2026 | Author: Bryan Metzger
More Articles in Business
US and Allies Agree: Allies Must Stop Feeling Sorry, Start Defending
Trump and Netanyahu Agree to Beat Iran with Tariffs and Hope
Sports Mogul Sells Agency After Discovering 'Humanitarian' Emails Backfire
Man Walks Out on $130 Brooklyn Tasting Menu, Woman Pays for Breakup Dinner
Meta Declares ‘No More Performance Purges,’ Despite Talking About Annual 5% Cuts
Man Outsmarts FBI By Sharing Lawyer Secrets With AI, Forgets AI Snitches Too
Couples Running Restaurants Share Tips on Not Killing Each Other Yet
