Company Pays You To Pretend You Enjoy Sitting Next To People You Hate
KEY POINTS
- •Superhuman launched its 'Ways of Working Program' in January 2026, offering up to $2,000 quarterly stipends for office days.
- •The company's failed April 2025 two-day RTO mandate prompted Chief People Officer Kenny Mendes to seek behavioral scientist Jon Levy's advice.
- •Since incentives rolled out, 75% of employees near hubs have chosen in-office schedules, boosting attendance by 57% and hitting 85% attendance compliance.
Superhuman, the AI productivity tool company with 1,500 employees spread across eight hubs in North America and Europe, declared war on ghost offices starting January 2026 by slapping a 'Ways of Working Program' rewards system on attendance. After their April 2025 attempt at a two-day return-to-office mandate flopped miserably ('failed' according to Chief People Officer Kenny Mendes), they pivoted to bribery: offering US workers up to a jaw-dropping $2,000 quarterly wellness stipend to brave cramped four-foot desks and socially awkward lunch hours in San Francisco and beyond. Legendary behavioral scientist Jon Levy advised Mendes to seduce workers rather than terrorize them, apparently by subsidizing everything from groceries to gym memberships while simultaneously turning desks into sardine cans. Impressively, 75% of hub-adjacent staff opted in, with a third signed up for nearly full-time in-person commitment - and a solid 85% showing up on schedule like office zombies motivated by cash. This grand RTO experiment clearly shows that the scent of cash beats existential dread faster than empty conference room echoes.
Share the Story
(1 of 3)Nothing says 'We hate remote work' like paying people thousands to risk awkward small talk and overpriced airport parking just to sit next to coworkers they avoid daily.
Superhuman's office attendance plan sounds less like team building and more like bribery for introverts trapped in Excel hell.
If paying people $2,000 to come to an office is the future, I’m not sure if it’s capitalism or just desperation.
Source: Businessinsider | Published: 4/7/2026 | Author: Ana Altchek
More Articles in Business
Sydney Sweeney's $1M Flop, Trump-Approved Jeans & Bathwater Soap Fiasco
Digital Nomad Trapped in Lisbon FOMO, Ends Up BFF Ghosted
Gordon Ramsay’s 10-Minute Burger Almost Faster Than My Life Decisions
Ulta CEO Proves Weight Loss Drugs Are Just a Beauty Store Stimulus Plan
Americans Brace for $5 Gas, Still Buy Pokémon Cards Like It’s 1999
Chicago Bar Sells $10 Cocktails, Staff Treated Like Financial Wizards
Job Applicants Now Judged by AI That Never Stops Judging
Couples Postpone Proposals Because Gold Prices Are More Volatile Than Their Relationships
