Employees Forced To Sweat Next To Boss, Pretend They Know What 'VO2 Max' Means
KEY POINTS
- •Zach Schofel, CEO of Cosign, offers new hires 7:20 a.m. Barry's or padel sessions to bond before starting.
- •Maria Colacurcio, Syndio CEO and pro-level Hyrox athlete, regularly works out with employees and investors for rapport.
- •Etiquette expert Diane Gottsman warns to wear tonal gym clothes and avoid discussing work unless the boss leads.
Zach Schofel, CEO of Cosign, commands new hires to choose between a painfully early 7:20 a.m. Barry's bootcamp or a game of padel—not, you know, just normal caffeine consumption. Meanwhile, Syndio's CEO Maria Colacurcio, a pro Hyrox athlete, personally drags board members through sweat-soaked workouts to prove who's the real iron wolf of meetings. Etiquette guru Diane Gottsman advises employees to wear 'tonal' gym clothes, lest they scandalize potential investors by showing up in neon. Meanwhile, fitness coach Noah Neiman warns suck-ups risking the eternal awkwardness of out-exercising their boss. And the gym chats? Strictly no business talk allowed unless the boss cracks first. Welcome to the era where your career hinges on spotting a 25lb dumbbell properly.
Share the Story
(1 of 3)Modern work perks: suffer through intense workouts with your boss and learn gym jargon nobody actually understands. Corporate bonding or just a fancy way to question your life choices in spandex?
Nothing screams corporate synergy more than matching your boss’s miserable sweat pace and pretending to know VO2 max like it pays your bills.
If you thought escape rooms were awkward, try spotting 25lbs for your CEO while wearing a carefully calibrated shade of 'non-threatening' gym gear.
Source: Businessinsider | Published: 8/20/2026 | Author: Ana Altchek,Gabby Landsverk
More Articles in Business
Mark Cuban Declares AI Too Empathetic to Replace Doctors, Only Bullshit Jobs Fear
Sydney Sweeney's $1M Flop, Trump-Approved Jeans & Bathwater Soap Fiasco
Digital Nomad Trapped in Lisbon FOMO, Ends Up BFF Ghosted
Target Claims Back-to-School Season Can Fix Years of Self-Inflicted Customer Alienation
Billionaires Treat Miami Private Schools Like Rolexes: Must Have First
Wall Street Turns Chips Into Asset Class, Confuses Corncobs Everywhere
VC Investor Trades Suits for Sippy Cups, Negotiates Exit in Delivery Room
Jason Kelce Sings for Pee Donations to Save AI Data Centers’ Thirsty Souls
