Tech Giants Announce Screenless AI Devices to Calm Scrollaholics’ Nails-On-Chalkboard Lives

KEY POINTS

•OpenAI plans to launch a small screenless AI device later this year to offer a more peaceful alternative to smartphones.
•Apple is developing AI smart glasses, pins, and AirPods featuring microphones and cameras designed to integrate with iPhones.
•Meta sold 7 million smart glasses in 2024 and teases Orion AR glasses without a firm release date.

In a heroic bout of hope and hubris, OpenAI, Apple, and Meta are betting billions on gadgets to wean America off its 200 daily phone pickups and teens’ 250 ping-fests. OpenAI’s mysterious screenless device (release date: later this year, or never) promises 'peaceful' vibes like a lake cabin, not Times Square—noticeably lacking overpriced pretzels. Apple is cooking up smart glasses, AI-powered pins, and AirPods with secret microphones and cameras—not for spying, just your 'eyes and ears' of the iPhone, Bloomberg exposed on a sleepy Tuesday. Meta sold 7 million smart glasses last year alone—proof that shocked tech nerds still buy shiny overpriced eyewear while waiting for Orion AR glasses to drop. Meanwhile, failed AI tries rally: Humane’s $700 wearable-pin flamed out after a year, and AI Friend pendant’s ‘eavesdropping sycophant’ act sold a few thousand devices, mostly to bewildered in-laws. Experts stress AI wearables need real solutions—like telling you when to buy flowers or dodging extra emails—not just replicating the infinite scroll trap with more gizmos around your neck. OpenAI’s chief Sam Altman paints a dream of contextual life-coaching AI, savvy enough to quiet your phone’s pointless pings for markdowns on thrifted clothes, Instagram dog likes, or yet another screentime report reminding you how tragically hooked you are. Spoiler alert: The screen may vanish, but the addiction ghost will haunt harder, now with microphones.