Meet the coolest sperm donor you've ever ignored – he’s actually a walking ball of genetic chaos in blue jeans. Lucky him, he’s healthy, but his ’rare mutation’ in the TP53 gene turned him into an accidental fertility factory, fathering at least 197 children across Europe. BBC reports the number could be 'far higher,' as data from all countries haven’t caught up with his secret legacy. Meanwhile, these kids are racing to see who gets high risk for cancer first. Edwige Kasper ominously notes that ten kids already have cancer and 13 carry the gene but have yet to show symptoms, begging for a bigger genetic screening than just turning it on and off like a default app. Professor Clare Turnbull calls this 'a highly unfortunate coincidence'—like a lottery involving an extremely rare villain in the DNA spy movie. European authorities now tremble in fear, debating the regulation of sperm bank standards amidst calls for transparency and limits – because one donor is apparently their new version of Europe’s comune COVID-19 vaccine supply chain, unpredictable and across borders.