Trump Insures Strait of Hormuz Tankers, Ignores Iran’s DIY Missile Festival

KEY POINTS

•President Trump announced political risk insurance and Navy escorts for tankers passing through the Strait of Hormuz, despite its narrow geography.
•Iran controls key shorelines and has reportedly sunk nine warships, deploying missile boats and seeking Chinese supersonic missiles to raise the threat level.
•The conflict has pushed oil prices above triple digits due to reduced tanker traffic and threats of retaliation against ships from the U.S. and Israel.

In a world-class game of maritime hide-and-seek, President Trump swooped in with his patented political risk insurance and shiny Navy escorts for tankers threading the 21-nautical-mile needle known as the Strait of Hormuz, which handles a hefty 25% of global seaborne oil. Meanwhile, Iran, perched like a nervous cat on the northern shore, casually fields shore-based missile pop guns and lightning-fast attack boats — all without needing any fancy warships, nine of which the US claims to have sunk in early March 2026. Reuters spilled the hot tea in late Feb about Iran nearly nabbing supersonic anti-ship cruise missiles from China, making things smell oddly like a missile arms bazaar. Iran’s effectively RSVP’d no to certain countries’ tankers, causing oil prices to huff past triple digits, reminding the world that you only have to block one chokepoint to send gas prices on a rollercoaster. Any accidental pop-pop on commercial vessels could doom the global economy more than Fortnite server crashes ever did.