Trump’s Exclusive Qatar Security Club: Jealous Gulf Drama Edition
In a plot twist so wild it could only come from the Trump playbook, the U.S. has declared Qatar's security as precious as its own via a unilateral executive order from September 2025 — because who needs Senate approval when you have presidential fiat? This "diet" Article 5 deal, courtesy of America's most unpredictable ex-president, triggered Gulf states’ jealousy faster than a social media influencer loses followers post-scandal. Meanwhile, Israel's airstrike on Doha failed to kill any top Hamas officials, proving military precision is subjective, or maybe just really bad that day. Qatar gifted the U.S. a Boeing 747 earlier in 2025, costing up to $1 billion to refurbish, because nothing screams gratitude like a multi-million-dollar headache. And with $9.6-$12 billion spent on Middle Eastern ops from October 2023-September 2025, it's safe to say the ‘Pacific pivot’ is just a fancy napkin idea. Honestly, at this point, even Air Force One’s remodeling bill feels like small change in a region where friends are rarer than patience for yet another executive order. We’re all terrible drivers of our own lives, but apparently, Trump just greased Qatar's tires in the geopolitical traffic jam.
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Trump handed Qatar the world’s first "diet mutual defense" plan. It’s like promising to share your candy but keeping 95%. Meanwhile, Gulf neighbors are side-eyeing harder than Congress after a late-night tweet. Classic pet chief executive flexes with billion-dollar jet upgrades. Sweet.
Qatar’s new U.S. security deal is basically presidential impulsiveness meets checkbook diplomacy, proving diplomacy is just expensive poker with poorly shuffled cards.
Nothing screams stable alliances like an executive order defense deal that the Senate wasn’t allowed to RSVP to. It’s like getting a tattoo from your barber.
Source: Axios | Published: 10/8/2025 | Author: Colin Demarest
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