Weapons Tops Box Office Because 'Where Did The Kids Go?' Flopped
The horror flick 'Weapons', helmed by the director of Barbarian, boldly rifle-charged its way to the top of the box office this weekend. Apparently, the original title 'Where Did The Kids Go? Find Out, Josh Brolin!' didnāt test wellāproof that horror audiences prefer blunt titles over desperate pleas. The Onion, true to form, delivers the vital info you didnāt know you needed about this cinematic weaponry, subtly reminding us that even horror filmmakers struggle with naming conventions worse than weāre terrible drivers of our own lives.
Share the Story
Nothing says horror like changing a movie title because 'Where Did The Kids Go? Find Out, Josh Brolin!' scared off test audiences. Even nightmares have bad branding, apparently.
āWeaponsā wins box office, proving scary movies are now judged by how confusing their titles arenāt. The real horror? We all accepted 'Find Out, Josh Brolin!' as a legit subtitle.
Horror movie tip: If your title sounds like a desperate text from a parent, maybe rename it. 'Weapons' did, and now it's cashing in while we all pretend to be brave.
Source: Theonion | Published: 8/15/2025 | Author: The Onion Staff
More Articles in Entertainment
Volunteer Battles Fire That Roasts His Own Home, Because Why Not
Sydney Sweeney's $1M Flop, Trump-Approved Jeans & Bathwater Soap Fiasco
Linkin Parkās New Tour: Same Band, New Lead Singer, Twice The Confusion
Diddy's Matte-Black Jet Flies Off Market While Boss Flies Into Prison
Black Mirror Season 8 Confirmed, Because Reality Needs More Existential Dread
Ed Sheeran Launches 2026 LOOP Tour, Tickets Not Looping Into Your Wallet
