Weapons Tops Box Office Because 'Where Did The Kids Go?' Flopped
The horror flick 'Weapons', helmed by the director of Barbarian, boldly rifle-charged its way to the top of the box office this weekend. Apparently, the original title 'Where Did The Kids Go? Find Out, Josh Brolin!' didnât test wellâproof that horror audiences prefer blunt titles over desperate pleas. The Onion, true to form, delivers the vital info you didnât know you needed about this cinematic weaponry, subtly reminding us that even horror filmmakers struggle with naming conventions worse than weâre terrible drivers of our own lives.
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Nothing says horror like changing a movie title because 'Where Did The Kids Go? Find Out, Josh Brolin!' scared off test audiences. Even nightmares have bad branding, apparently.
âWeaponsâ wins box office, proving scary movies are now judged by how confusing their titles arenât. The real horror? We all accepted 'Find Out, Josh Brolin!' as a legit subtitle.
Horror movie tip: If your title sounds like a desperate text from a parent, maybe rename it. 'Weapons' did, and now it's cashing in while we all pretend to be brave.
Source: Theonion | Published: 8/15/2025 | Author: The Onion Staff
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