Trump’s New Department: Ministry of Controlled College Thoughts
In a shocking turn of events, the Trump administration has laid out a plan so bold it could make Orwell blush: 'Get rid of the Department of Education, shut off federal funding, take control of the accreditation system, and take down diversity, equity, and inclusion programs.' Harvard and UVA now face a new syllabus dictated by who passes the volleyball test for trans women athletes, with threats like 'If you don’t teach Near Eastern Studies properly, no Alzheimer’s money for you.' As Wesleyan’s president warns, this is more than an attack on colleges; it's an 'assault on… the ability of schools to educate students the way they see fit.'
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Universities no longer just teach—you must now pass the state volleyball referee exam for enrollment. Next semester: mandatory flags on all campus blackboards or no Alzheimer’s research funding. Higher education or reality show? You decide.
Looks like universities are trading Shakespeare for Trump-approved sports eligibility tests. Next up: Cesarean crochets and Patriot-approved physics.
If college becomes a mix of 'Survivor' and 'Jeopardy' with a side of congressional approval, can someone tell me when we started taking life lessons from a MAGA hat?
Source: Vox | Published: 7/26/2025 | Author: Sean Illing
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