AI Promises Moon, Drinks Water, Costs More Than Your House
Big Tech just threw $400 billion into AI this yearāenough cash to buy every Tesla painted like Elon Muskās dreams of 'universal high income' and infinite Wagyu steak dinners. Nvidiaās chips get gobbled up by Microsoft, Meta, Amazon, Alphabet, and Tesla, making the AI hype bubble look like the plot of a 2025 sci-fi blockbuster. Meanwhile, AI is guzzling electricity that could power 22% of US homes and chugging fresh water like a frat kid at spring breakālaunching liquid from three 16.9-ounce bottles to type out a 100-word email. Despite 71% of companies riding the AI wave, 80% say their bank accounts ignore it, some rehiring crashed staff after realizing AIās more talk than walk. Elon once promised AI would cure cancer and fix the climate ā an AI-powered pony ride weāre still waiting for while Wall Street clutches Nvidia stock like itās the last Bitcoin. As Stanfordās Erik Brynjolfsson school-reads the AI 'early, painful J-curve', Google and Oracle drop earnings bombs proving AI's cash magic is finally brewingāmore signs this bubble might turn into a bonfire or a Tesla coil shock.
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AI is the adult toddler spitting billions of electricity and water, promising candy (cancer cures, riches) while our wallets scream 'Whereās the receipt?' Meanwhile, Nvidiaās running the AI circus and people are asleep at the popcorn stand.
Turns out AI consumes more water per email than your failed New Year's resolutions consume willpowerāyet somehow canāt fix your quarterly profits or job cuts. The futureās so bright, you might want to check if itās just sunlight reflecting off shareholdersā tears.
If AI was a frat party, it would have trashed the house, guzzled all the beer, promised eternal youth, and left everyone sobbing in the corner rewiring their careers. Meanwhile, Nvidia is cashing out like the party host who never invites anyone else.
Source: Axios | Published: 9/15/2025 | Author: Madison Mills
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