Ozempic: America’s New Miracle Pills & Existential Protein Crisis
Ozempic and its GLP-1 drug cousins are being hailed as 'everyone’s little helper' for weight loss and mysterious cravings alike. Dylan Scott asks, 'What’s the catch?' while Vox uncovers an looming apocalypse fueled by America's relentless protein craze. Plus, philosophical political testosterone debates and the tragic demise of friend setups add layers of modern malaise. As one feature ominously warns about 'the terrifying reality behind one of America’s fastest-growing dairy brands,' it seems we’re one pill away from either utopia or dairy-fueled chaos.
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Ozempic is basically the new black market hero, curing cravings AND existential dread, but keep an eye on that dairy apocalypse—America’s about to get protein-punked harder than its salad-averse souls ever imagined.
Nothing screams 'modern life' like swallowing a pill named 'everyone’s little helper' to combat your triple cheeseburger regrets and existential protein panic.
If Ozempic is the miracle drug and America’s protein obsession is the apocalypse, can we get a pill combo to fix our political testosterone hangovers too?
Source: Vox | Published: 7/28/2025 | Author: Vox Staff
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