US and Israel Plan Covert Uranium Heist in Iran, Hope Nobody Notices
KEY POINTS
- •The U.S. and Israel have discussed a risky mission to seize Iran’s 450 kilograms of 60%-enriched uranium after weakening Iranian military resistance.
- •Secretary of State Marco Rubio acknowledged that people would have to physically secure the uranium, while Trump hinted at potential ground troop involvement.
- •Discussions include diluting uranium on-site or transporting it, with operations involving special forces and scientific experts, post-war assurance of safety.
In a plot that sounds like a mashup of Mission Impossible and The Office's budget season, the U.S. and Israel are scheming to swipe Iran's 450 kilograms of 60%-enriched uranium — enough to cook up 11 nukes if it hits 90% purity — from underground Tehran basements so deep even Indiana Jones would ask for a map. Marco Rubio casually jokes 'People are gonna have to go and get it,' while Trump, suspending disbelief like a Netflix thriller, hints ground troops 'maybe' might show up 'later' once the Iranians are too 'decimated' to fight. Whether dilution or full-blown uranium kidnapping wins, scientists and special ops will team up — probably like the world’s most intense science field trip involving some dissolved secrets on Kharg Island’s oil bling. All this, while officials emphasize ‘not Fallujah, just micro-ghost ops.' Grab your passports, folks, covert uranium extraction might become the year's weirdest crossover event.
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(1 of 3)Apparently there’s a secret shopping list for Iran’s uranium, and Trump’s idea of ‘boots on the ground’ is more ‘tiny tap dance’ than full invasion. Spoiler: no Fallujah cameo, just special ops playing high-stakes hide-and-go-seek underground.
US and Israel want Iran’s uranium like it’s the last limited-edition sneaker drop, except with more dust and worse party favors.
When your top secret mission sounds like a Netflix buddy cop show: Special Ops + Nuclear Scientists = The most awkward lab party ever.
Source: Axios | Published: 3/8/2026 | Author: Barak Ravid
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