US and Israel Plan Covert Uranium Heist in Iran, Hope Nobody Notices
KEY POINTS
- ā¢The U.S. and Israel have discussed a risky mission to seize Iranās 450 kilograms of 60%-enriched uranium after weakening Iranian military resistance.
- ā¢Secretary of State Marco Rubio acknowledged that people would have to physically secure the uranium, while Trump hinted at potential ground troop involvement.
- ā¢Discussions include diluting uranium on-site or transporting it, with operations involving special forces and scientific experts, post-war assurance of safety.
In a plot that sounds like a mashup of Mission Impossible and The Office's budget season, the U.S. and Israel are scheming to swipe Iran's 450 kilograms of 60%-enriched uranium ā enough to cook up 11 nukes if it hits 90% purity ā from underground Tehran basements so deep even Indiana Jones would ask for a map. Marco Rubio casually jokes 'People are gonna have to go and get it,' while Trump, suspending disbelief like a Netflix thriller, hints ground troops 'maybe' might show up 'later' once the Iranians are too 'decimated' to fight. Whether dilution or full-blown uranium kidnapping wins, scientists and special ops will team up ā probably like the worldās most intense science field trip involving some dissolved secrets on Kharg Islandās oil bling. All this, while officials emphasize ānot Fallujah, just micro-ghost ops.' Grab your passports, folks, covert uranium extraction might become the year's weirdest crossover event.
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(1 of 3)Apparently thereās a secret shopping list for Iranās uranium, and Trumpās idea of āboots on the groundā is more ātiny tap danceā than full invasion. Spoiler: no Fallujah cameo, just special ops playing high-stakes hide-and-go-seek underground.
US and Israel want Iranās uranium like itās the last limited-edition sneaker drop, except with more dust and worse party favors.
When your top secret mission sounds like a Netflix buddy cop show: Special Ops + Nuclear Scientists = The most awkward lab party ever.
Source: Axios | Published: 3/8/2026 | Author: Barak Ravid
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