Trump Orders 'Golden Fleet' Battleships with His Fist as Official Weapon

KEY POINTS

•President Trump revealed the new 'Trump-class' military vessels plans on Monday at Mar-a-Lago with top defense officials.
•The ships are promised to be fast, powerful, and branded with Trump’s fist, in a move that breaks tradition.
•This announcement comes amid delays in other Navy projects and ongoing tensions with Venezuela and global competitors.

On Monday at Mar-a-Lago, surrounded by Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, Marco Rubio masquerading as Secretary of State, and Navy Secretary John Phelan, Trump unveiled plans for the 'Trump-class' battleships promising them to be '100 times more powerful' than any battleship ever built, despite existing projects like the delayed Columbia-class sub stuck in bureaucratic triage. He complained about rusty ships, vowed speed soon, and announced a blockade off Venezuela targeting Nicolás Maduro—presumably as a prelude to employing his new floating golden selfie billboards. Official designs reveal lasers, missiles, a hovering helicopter, and Trump's own fist prominently displayed on the rear, channeling both naval might and midlife crisis yacht flair. This move stokes tensions amid an already strained Navy supply chain competing with China, Japan, and South Korea, while the Navy’s coveted futuristic fighter project F/A-XX limbos on like a paralyzed prom date. The administration's decision follows a White House meeting including OMB's Russell Vought, tying administration vanity projects together like a golden thread unfurling in the sea breeze.