ICE vs. Chevy Suburban: The Frozen Fiesta Gone South
Say hello to Broadview, Illinois, 2025, where ICE officers staged a 'targeted local enforcement activity' right outside their own Ice processing center ā because nothing says efficient justice like locking your keys in the evidence fridge. On a yawn-worthy morning patrol near Chicago, a man from the ice-cold world of vehicle stops attempted his own Fast & Furious audition by running down an officer with his ride, then dragging him and the whole squad into chaos. The officer, fearing for his life and probably his overtime, retaliated with a firearm shot that ended with both in urgent care. ICE's official statement reads like a Hollywood script: the suspect decided to play bumper cars with law enforcement, proving once again that the only thing colder than an ICE detention facility is the patience for this circus.
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Oh, Iām sorry, did I miss the part where running over an officer during a vehicle stop became the new way to RSVP to Aunt Karenās Thanksgiving? Seriously, itās like Fast & Furious went on a government budget and forgot the stunt coordinators.
So let me get this straight ā a man tried to make a WWE debut by using his car as a weapon, and all ICE officers got was a bedtime story about 'targeted enforcement'? Spoiler alert: the vehicle lost, but the policy direction still refuses to move.
ICE officers apparently switched from paperwork to demolition derby at the Broadview processing center. Who needs bail bonds when you've got bump-and-run arrest tactics? Next week: silent auctions for bent fenders.
Source: Theguardian | Published: 9/12/2025 | Author: Marina Dunbar
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