US Citizenship Test Now Featuring Surprise 4-Year Prison Break Challenge

In a dazzling display of bureaucratic creativity, White House officials announced on a Thursday that the US citizenship test is upgrading its fun factor by including a mandatory four-year imprisonment segment. The reform negotiates the outdated exam by inviting prospective citizens to be forcibly detained, denied a fair trial, and locked inside a cell—a 'win-win' scenario according to unnamed officials. No longer content with beep-or-miss civics questions, this new version is the ultimate endurance test dating from this very month, proving you really have to be American to survive the test! Sadly, no visit date available, but hey, cellmates will be so diverse!

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Source: Theonion | Published: 9/10/2025 | Author: The Onion Staff