Trump’s Board of Peace Thinks Hamas Will Totally Disarm By Next Tuesday

KEY POINTS

•President Trump’s Board of Peace announced an agreement aiming for Hamas to disarm and demilitarize Gaza within six to eight months.
•The deal includes Israeli-approved Palestinian police taking security control and Israel withdrawing troops to the ‘Yellow Line’ post-ceasefire zone.
•Egypt’s intelligence chief Hassan Rashad pressured Hamas to agree, while Iran advised them to delay, causing a standstill in trust.

In a plot twist that surprises absolutely no one except maybe the International Stabilization Force, President Trump’s Board of Peace brokered a ‘historic’ deal for Hamas to hand over their arsenal like it was Pokémon cards. This peaceful arrangement, freshly tweeted on Truth Social, mandates Hamas’ surrender of guns, tunnels, and even their secret weapons manufacturing plants within six to eight months—because nothing screams long-term success like a firearms demilitarization timeline fit for a TV mini-series. The deal also awkwardly involves vetted Palestinian cops trained by Israel’s Shin Bet, Iran urging Hamas to stall, and Egypt’s intelligence chief Hassan Rashad playing big daddy. Israeli troops will pull back to the ‘Yellow Line’ only if Hamas actually deigns to quit shooting first, which officials remain skeptically optimistic about with a certainty akin to QAnon forecasts.