Trump Demands Cuba 'Make A Deal Before It’s Too Late,' Offers Cigar Photo As Bribe
KEY POINTS
- •After capturing Nicolás Maduro on January 5th, Trump urged Cuba to negotiate urgently, threatening to cut off oil and financial support.
- •Trump softened on military action, leaving warnings to Secretary of State Marco Rubio, while retweeting outlandish claims about Rubio leading Cuba.
- •Cuban Foreign Minister Bruno Rodríguez condemned the U.S., calling it a reckless hegemon, as South Florida leaders celebrated Maduro's capture.
President Trump kicked off the week on Truth Social reminding Cuba to negotiate 'BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE,' hours after the U.S. snagged Venezuela’s Nicolás Maduro on January 5th. After a failed flirtation with messing in Greenland and cooling on Colombia thanks to allied side-eye, Havana suddenly became the geopolitical piñata. Trump promised Cuba 'NO MORE OIL OR MONEY'—tough love for an economy already sagging worse than a used hammock. The hit to Venezuela’s Cuban-backed forces killed 32 soldiers, which somehow didn’t inspire an impromptu military showdown, with Rubio whispering ominous warnings while Trump basically shrugged, saying, 'I don't think we need any action.' And because every serious foreign policy needs memes, Trump retweeted lunatic X-posts about Marco Rubio taking Cuba’s presidency and posted a Photoshopped pic of himself puffing a cigar in front of the Cuban flag, like the world’s most unconvincing undercover agent. Cuban Foreign Minister Bruno Rodríguez clapped back calling the U.S. an 'out-of-control hegemon'—basically the diplomatic equivalent of a Twitter roast battle. Meanwhile, South Florida’s Cuban and Venezuelan diasporas cheered Maduro’s capture like the playoffs, with Rep. Carlos Giménez promising a 'light at the end of the tunnel'—hopefully not the one Trump warned about for Cuba. Ever thought you’d see a 21st century remake of 'Cheerleaders and Cigar Smugglers'? Now you have.
Share the Story
Trump’s foreign policy now: threaten Cuba with no more oil, share fake cigar selfies, and retweet conspiracy fans calling Rubio president. Diplomacy 2.0 looks weird.
Nothing says 'serious negotiator' like threatening regimes with Twitter rants and Photoshop cigar pics. Cuban Foreign Minister can’t even with this nonsense.
Trump’s plan to fix Cuba involves no oil, zero money, and infinite thirst for reposting memes. If diplomacy was a movie, this is the blooper reel.
Source: Axios | Published: 1/11/2026 | Author: Avery Lotz
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