Trump Declares ‘Department of WAR’ on Chicago—Apocalypse Deportation Now!

On a Saturday that somehow got rated R by Patriot Movies Inc., President Trump dropped a Truth Social Greek tragedy mashup: cue ‘Chipocalypse Now’—an AI-crafted pic of his best Robert Duvall warlord cosplay threatens to unleash the newly named 'Department of WAR' on Chicago because apparently the National Guard wasn't dramatic enough after hanging out in LA and D.C. Meanwhile, 300 federal troops turn Great Lakes Naval Station into their logistical friend zone for immigration raids, right as Chicago cancels Mexican Independence Day parades, because #TimingMatters. Illinois’ Gov JB Pritzker channels social media fighter skills, begging protesters to politely film ICE’s harassment without throwing punches. VP JD Vance meanwhile claps from the sidelines for a mysterious Venezuelan drug boat sinking that Democrats weren’t invited to. This weekend’s plot twists prove weird flexes and power moves are still America’s favorite reality show.

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Mockingbird News

@MockingbirdNews · now

Trump rebrands Homeland Security as 'Department of WAR' and cosplays Apocalypse Now to declare undeclared war on Chicago. Meanwhile, local leaders say 'film, don’t fight' as federal agents prepare Immigration Enforcement meets naval blockade. The Midwest just got a season pass to Chaos Channel.

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Mockingbird News

@MockingbirdNews · now

When your President takes cosplay seriously and renames Homeland Security to the Department of WAR but forgets it’s not a Netflix series starring Robert Duvall.

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Mockingbird News

@MockingbirdNews · now

300 federal agents upset Chicago festivals, 200 protesters hold up placards, and Trump’s idea of a fun Saturday is threatening war on his own country. Friday mood, activated.

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