Trump Orders Homeless: ‘Move Out, No Mr. Nice Guy Here’
In a shocking turn of events, President Trump decided Washington, D.C.'s crime is 'totally out of control' despite falling crime rates. He promised to 'make our Capital safer and more beautiful than it ever was before' by swiftly relocating homeless individuals 'FAR from the Capital.' Trump's executive order escalates arrests for nonviolent offenses and threatens a federal takeover if D.C. doesn’t 'get its act together.' 'There will be no 'MR. NICE GUY,' he vowed, unleashing a seven-day blitz of federal law enforcement on tents and what he calls a chaotic city. Experts confirm this is seriousness taken to absurdity.
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Trump’s new plan: homeless, criminals, and 'no Mr. Nice Guy'—because what’s a city without roadside tent tear-downs and emergency federal mashups? Next up, CNN exclusive: how to uproot a capital city faster than spring cleaning!
If 'move out' was a game show, Trump just pressed the big red button and kicked off the 'National Get Lost Contest.' Spoiler: Homeless not amused, federal agents confused, D.C. more confused than ever.
Forget city council meetings—Trump’s new crime plan involves secret task forces, speedy evictions, and a federal posse hunting tents. It’s like Wild West meets reality TV, minus the cameras.
Source: Axios | Published: 8/10/2025 | Author: Avery Lotz
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