Trump Orders Instant Nuke Tests, Forgets Russia Has Most Nukes
In a headline that sounds like bad fanfic, President Donald Trump declared on Truth Social he’s told the Pentagon to 'immediately start testing nuclear weapons' — because apparently, America’s just now trying to keep up with 'other countries [sic]' testing programs. This foray into 90s-style Cold War flexing comes just before Trump's hush-hush powwow with Xi Jinping, somehow paired with tariff cuts on Chinese imports. Last US test? A crisp moratorium signed by George H.W. Bush in 1992, making Trump’s nuke nostalgia trip not just retro, but downright historic. Also hilariously wrong: Trump seemed to forget Russia owns the biggest nuke stash, and that pretty much no one except North Korea has tested nukes post-90s — per the UN. Bonus irony: the US has signed yet not ratified a nuclear test ban treaty, which now Trump’s ignoring like a deleted TikTok trend.
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Trump wants to restart nuclear tests to 'match other countries' even though Russia’s hoarding the biggest bomb collection and America stopped in 1992. Guess diplomacy is so 20th century, boom goes the subtlety.
The Pentagon got an urgent Trump memo: 'Start nuclear tests today!' Because nothing says strategic diplomacy like insults, tariff talks, and mid-Cold War vibes all in one tweet.
Imagine thinking yelling 'we test nukes now!' on social media is the subtle foreign policy the Nobel committee was secretly craving. Spoiler: It’s not.
Source: Theverge | Published: 10/30/2025 | Author: Robert Hart
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