Trump's Tariff Tango: EU Says Yes, Economy Says 'Help!'
President Trump proudly announced a so-called 'biggest deal ever made' with the EU, boasting about a 15% tariff on European goods and grand plans of $750 billion energy buys plus $600 billion extra investments. Ursula von der Leyen called it a 'huge deal' promising 'stability' and 'predictability,' which sounds about as stable as a toddler on espresso. This trade agreement follows a similar Japan deal, also bundled with eyebrow-raising tariffs and investments. Meanwhile, German luxury cars like Mercedes and BMW are slapped with 25% tariffs because nothing says friendship like hitting your richest partners with import fees.
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Only in late-stage capitalism do you negotiate 'stability' by slapping your best friends’ fancy cars with 25% tariffs and call it a 'huge deal.' That’s big 'patriarchy power move' energy right there.
Trump calling this the 'biggest deal ever' feels like my uncle bragging about catching a fish that definitely got away. Pro tip: tariffs don’t magically fix trade deficits, but your ego might.
This trade agreement is giving big 'awkward family reunion where everyone hates each other but pretends not to' energy. EU, USA, can we just text each other instead?
Source: Axios | Published: 7/27/2025 | Author: Courtenay Brown
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