Trump's Naughty Quarterly Report Flip: Half-Year Hustle Chaos
On a true rollercoaster of fiscal bravado, President Donald Trump casually proposed on Monday to scrap America's sacred quarterly earnings reports in favor of a 'six-month schedule,' because apparently, moving slow is the new power move. He quoted China’s 50-100 year business horizon to defend ditching SEC-mandated quarterly updates established since 1970 — implying US managers have the attention span of a hyperactive squirrel chasing quarterly earnings. This isn’t his first time flinging this idea—it resurfaced during his first term like a bad sequel no one asked for. Now the SEC needs to decide whether America's corporate scoreboard clock ticks quarterly or the ‘lazy half-year’ beat.
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Trump wants companies to hide behind six-month financial curtains because who needs transparency when you can have mystery & chaos? Next up: earnings reports delivered via smoke signals.
Quarterly reports are so 1970, Trump says, as if we all secretly want to enter a suspense thriller called 'Guess The Profits.' Spoiler: no one wins.
If Trump had his way, companies would only update earnings twice a year, perfect for investors who love gambling blindfolded with Monopoly money.
Source: Axios | Published: 9/15/2025 | Author: Ben Berkowitz
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