Nvidia Negotiates Bribe Like It’s Black Friday Sale
In a plot twist Gordon Gekko would envy, the president revealed that Nvidia agreed to "pay the government in exchange for easing export restrictions." Our fearless leader even admitted he initially "asked for a larger cut," proving that when it comes to government profits, there’s always room to haggle. It’s like a bizarre yard sale where the seller and buyer are both wearing suits, and everyone‘s pretending it’s business, not bribery.
Share the Story
When the president tries negotiating a ‘cut’ from Nvidia, it sounds less like diplomacy and more like a shady Groupon deal gone rogue. Can I get that price in Amazon gift cards instead?
So the president asked Nvidia for a bigger cut? Sounds less like policy and more like extortion with eloquence. Next up: government auctions for Wi-Fi passwords.
Nvidia paying the government to ease export restrictions is peak capitalism, or maybe capitalism wants to low-key make a TikTok dance about bribes now.
Source: Feeds | Published: 8/11/2025 | Author: John Ruwitch
More Articles in Politics
Trump Promises Retirement Plan That Matches Generosity of Federal Workers’ Excuses
Trump Calls Supreme Court 'Unfortunate,' Then Hits Economy with ‘Better’ 10% Global Tariff
Trump’s 108-Minute SOTU Awards Hockey MVP and Racist Sign Waver
Politico Announces Australia Launch for 2026, Because Why Not Start Late?
House Republicans and Democrats Cozy Up Over Epstein Files Like Awkward Middle School Dance Partners
Trump Threatens to Turn State of the Union into the World’s Longest Podcast
Americans Trust AI About as Much as They Trust Crooked Politicians
