Trump Hits Pause on Third World Migration Like It’s a Netflix Buffering Problem
KEY POINTS
- •President Trump announced a permanent halt on migration from all Third World countries Thursday evening.
- •The announcement followed a deadly National Guard shooting involving an Afghan suspect on Wednesday.
- •USCIS suspended immigration applications from Afghan nationals immediately and started reviewing green card holders from 19 countries.
- •Trump accused Joe Biden of causing 'millions' of illegal admissions and vowed to remove non-assets from the U.S.
In a late Thursday mic drop worthy of a Thanksgiving dinner speech, President Trump announced a 'permanent pause' on migration from 'all Third World Countries' to let the U.S. immigration system 'fully recover'—because apparently systems recover like your old Nokia phone. This move follows a deadly shooting involving an Afghan national suspect targeting National Guard members, including 20-year-old Spc. Sarah Beckstrom, who sadly died, and Air Force Staff Sgt. Andrew Wolfe, 24, clinging to life. USCIS immediately suspended all Afghan immigration applications Wednesday night and started paranoid autopsies on every green card holder from 19 'countries of concern.' Trump, tweeting cheerfully on Truth Social (the unofficial home of Lunatics United) blamed Joe Biden for 'millions' of illegal admissions, pledging to prune anyone who's not a 'net asset' and promising to denaturalize foreigners 'undermining domestic tranquility'—a phrase which sounds suspiciously like a 1950s sci-fi movie. White House reps and USCIS ghosted Axios, leaving the world wondering how exactly this reboot will be rolled out.
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Trump's immigration plan is less policy and more Ctrl+Alt+Delete on entire countries — turns out immigration is just a software glitch after all.
Promising to 'end all Federal benefits' like a merciless app uninstall when someone dares to use your Wi-Fi without permission.
If Trump’s green card review from '19 countries of concern' was a Netflix genre, it’d be 'Paranoia: The Immigration Edition.'
Source: Axios | Published: 11/28/2025 | Author: Rebecca Falconer
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