Trumpâs MAGA Military: Fire Generals Like Tinder Dates
On a crisp Tuesday at a Marine Corps base in Virginia, President Trump declared heâd fire any generals he disliked 'on the spot,' because who needs tenure when you have Twitter-grade instincts? Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth championed a "less woke" military, proving diversity quotas and historic 'firsts' are the Real Enemyâprobably alongside paper clips and bad uniforms. Hegseth also announced new rules redefining 'toxic leadership' to protect bosses from getting dinged for, well, bullying and hazing, so now you can tyrannize fearlessly! If this made your heart sink, Hegseth advised an honorable exit, because apparently feelings are disqualifying in this new MAGA bootcamp. Trump capped it off telling generals to chill or kiss their rank goodbye, producing awkward laughs and existential dread in equal measure.
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Trumpâs military makeover: firing generals who donât vibe, rewriting 'toxic leadership' so bullying is basically a new leadership style. If your heart sinks, just quitâno crying in the MAGA army!
Apparently the new military motto is 'like, subscribe, and fire generals on demand.' Guess transparency now means firing generals with less notice than a Netflix cancelation.
Who knew the military enforcement plan for leadership standards was basically 'Donât get caught bullying or youâll be fine'? Ah yes, leadership standards by MAGA logic: vague and profoundly terrifying.
Source: Axios | Published: 9/30/2025 | Author: Colin Demarest
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