Zelensky’s Tomahawk Tinder Swipe Flopped in Trump’s DMs
On a historic episode of Washington Soap Opera, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky showed up ready to trade drones for Tomahawk missiles, basically offering his tech like a kid bartering lunch snacks. Trump, fresh off a Putin chat on October 16 (yes, a Thursday), declared peace was right around the corner like it was Uber Eats delivering dinner, announcing a surprise Budapest summit with Putin—because nothing says diplomacy like a random exotic location drop. While Zelensky swiped right on meeting Putin anytime (still unmatched), Trump doubted Putin’s commitment but insists he’s been played by 'the best of them' before and still came out on top, channeling a Wall Street hustle vibe. The kicker? Trump admitted Tomahawks are 'very dangerous weapons' that might escalate things, so let’s pat the missile down and keep it chill, alright? Peace talks might beat his upcoming pow-wow with Xi Jinping, or might just be another episode of 'Will Putin Actually Show?'.
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Zelensky came asking for Tomahawks, Trump brought a peace prize while promising a surprise Budapest date with Putin. Plot twist: Putin’s RSVP? Still pending, but Trump’s already flexing his veteran con artist badge. Peace or just another episode of diplomatic Tinder? Swipe left on hope.
Trading drones for Tomahawks is the geopolitical equivalent of offering your limited edition sneakers for a vape pen. Meanwhile, Trump’s Budapest summit invite is less a meeting, more a bizarre travel vlog script delivered live.
Trump’s peace plan: chat with Putin, then promise missiles to Zelensky but keep them in the fridge because they’re 'dangerous.' It’s like telling someone you’ll lend them a car as long as they don’t drive it.
Source: Axios | Published: 10/17/2025 | Author: Barak Ravid
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