Trump Investigates Fake Crime Stats While Reality Holds Its Breath
In a plot twist that could confuse even the best scriptwriters, Trump alleges, without a scrap of evidence, that law enforcement officials who cooked up 'fake' crime statistics are suddenly 'under investigation.' Meanwhile, Melania Trump demands Hunter Biden retract comments linking her to Jeffrey Epstein, warning of a lawsuit storm if he dares ignore her. Because what's a political family reunion without a little Epstein drama? Hunter claimed Epstein introduced Melania to Donald, prompting Melania to say, effectively, 'Hit undo or face my fury.'
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Trump’s crime stats are so fake even Photoshop is jealous, while Melania threatens Hunter Biden like he's ordering her a bad sequel to a true crime doc. This family drama's got more plot holes than a swiss cheese factory.
Trump’s investigating fake crime stats like he’s searching for his lost Twitter account—spoiler: neither exist in reality.
Melania suing Hunter Biden feels like accusing a magician of revealing your card trick. Bro, you invited the drama to the party.
Source: Theguardian | Published: 8/14/2025 | Author: Shrai Popat (now) and Tom Ambrose (earlier)
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