Trump Reluctantly Babysits Gaza’s Hunger Games
In a coup worthy of a reality show plot twist, Special Envoy Steve Witkoff flew from Miami to Trump’s White House dinner table to plot America’s takeover of Gaza aid—because apparently Israel’s humanitarian management skills are ‘not thrilling.’ As one official put it, Trump 'does not want babies to starve' and is 'becoming fixated on that,' which may be the most presidential thing he’s said in weeks. Meanwhile, Netanyahu is pitching a big war expansion, despite warnings it could end with Israeli military rule over two million Palestinians—a plan that's about as subtle as using a chainsaw for eyebrow plucking.
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Trump’s working hard not to be Gaza’s sole sugar daddy, delegating aid like a nervous party host. Meanwhile Netanyahu’s war plan is basically: 'Why have hostages when you can have full military occupation?'
When your humanitarian hotline starts looking more like a hostage crisis hotline, you know diplomacy is just a euphemism for 'please don’t break anything else.'
Gaza aid now managed by Team USA because apparently ‘winging it’ wasn’t cutting it. Trump’s fixated on not starving babies but still ghosting the big ceasefire RSVP.
Source: Axios | Published: 8/5/2025 | Author: Barak Ravid
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