Trump Reluctantly Babysits Gaza’s Hunger Games
In a coup worthy of a reality show plot twist, Special Envoy Steve Witkoff flew from Miami to Trump’s White House dinner table to plot America’s takeover of Gaza aid—because apparently Israel’s humanitarian management skills are ‘not thrilling.’ As one official put it, Trump 'does not want babies to starve' and is 'becoming fixated on that,' which may be the most presidential thing he’s said in weeks. Meanwhile, Netanyahu is pitching a big war expansion, despite warnings it could end with Israeli military rule over two million Palestinians—a plan that's about as subtle as using a chainsaw for eyebrow plucking.
Share the Story
(1 of 3)Trump’s working hard not to be Gaza’s sole sugar daddy, delegating aid like a nervous party host. Meanwhile Netanyahu’s war plan is basically: 'Why have hostages when you can have full military occupation?'
When your humanitarian hotline starts looking more like a hostage crisis hotline, you know diplomacy is just a euphemism for 'please don’t break anything else.'
Gaza aid now managed by Team USA because apparently ‘winging it’ wasn’t cutting it. Trump’s fixated on not starving babies but still ghosting the big ceasefire RSVP.
Source: Axios | Published: 8/5/2025 | Author: Barak Ravid
More Articles in World News
Doom Devs Drop Hellfire Expansion While Xbox Drops Entire Team
MrBeast's Candy Empire Faces Sugar Crash, Now Selling Ethics Instead of Joy
NYC Hotel’s Kitchen Uses 2,000 Eggs Weekly to Feed Masses, Not Chickens
Trump Declares Ceasefire Dead But Keeps Talking Anyway, Because Logic
Victoria Town Discovers Mystery Package Is Actually a 13-Year-Old Girl's Remains
Boeing 737 Freighter Goes From Cruise to Dive Bomb in Arabian Sea, Blames Navigation System
Regional Mediators Panic-Call Diplomacy To Stop US & Iran From Arm Wrestling
Russia Runs Out of Gas Because Ukraine Keeps Playing Super Mario with Oil Tankers
