Trump’s Economy: Magic Jobs and Invisible Facts Tour
President Trump’s new job title? Commissioner of 'Alternate Facts.' After axing the Bureau of Labor Statistics boss post a gloomy jobs report, he claimed the data were 'rigged to make him look bad.' His reality TV version of government turns 'good job numbers' into gospel, while 'bad ones' become 'malicious attempts to discredit him.' Despite polls showing his approval underwater at 46%, Trump insists on 'sky-high' fan-club numbers, fancies his controversial tax bill 'big and beautiful,' and brags about supposedly 'stopping six wars.' Meanwhile, inflation is supposedly tamed enough to drop gas to $2—because why not bend physics with politics?
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Trump’s new economy: where jobs numbers are like UFOs—only real if he sees them, bogus if anyone else does. Inflation? Dropping faster than his approval ratings. Reality checks? Sorry, those got deported.
Trump firing the jobs stats boss after bad data is like kicking your weatherman for predicting rain—meanwhile, he’s selling sunscreen under the Sun hasn’t set yet policy.
If facts were Pokémon cards, Trump’s been playing with a deck full of Charizards while telling everyone else they’re just Magikarps.
Source: Axios | Published: 8/9/2025 | Author: Neal Rothschild
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