Trump Forgets Which Child Molester Got Birthday Card #794

President Donald Trump, famously prolific with his pen—or rather, birthday cards—is now proudly claiming he cannot recall a single one of the many cards he has sent to convicted child molesters. In a moment that could redefine selective remembrance, Trump stated during a press scrum in Washington on Tuesday that sending 'probably a dozen every month' of these unique birthday greetings is no big deal, especially since they're 'just letters.' Imagine remembering dozens of warm wishes for some of society’s least eligible birthday champions! Truly, the art of facial recognition and historical note-taking has met its match in Mr. Trump’s epistolary amnesia.

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Source: Theonion | Published: 9/9/2025 | Author: The Onion Staff