Trumpâs Team Puzzled Why Spalding Throws Bucks at PAC
On an utterly confusing Wednesday in Washington, D.C., President Donald Trumpâs top aides were left scratching their heads after the sporting goods giant Spalding began showering Trumpâs super PAC with surprisingly generous donations. Word on the street was, 'Are we suddenly basketball lobbyists? Did Trump outlaw the NBA next?' Aides debated wild scenarios while eyeing those crisp Spalding checks as if theyâd landed from a hoops-themed miracle. Meanwhile, no official word on whether the Eagles or bald eagles could dunk or if real American freedom included free throws, but this intersection of politics and basketball money sure dribbled into the bizarre.
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Only in America could a basketball company just lob cash to Trumpâs super PAC and prompt a full bewilderment huddle. Meanwhile, the government is busy figuring out if hoops or free speech is the next thing to be regulated. Dunk on common sense, please.
Back in my day we called throwing gifted basketball money around 'sports sponsorship,' now it looks like political campaign trick shots. Spalding donating to Trumpâs PAC? Whatâs next, NBA referees moonlighting as lobbyists?
You know common sense is rarer than an eagle with laser vision when Trump aides ask if theyâre about to outlaw basketball. Meanwhile, Spaldingâs cash blitz shoots over the rim of logic but lands perfectly in the PACâs pocket.
Source: Theonion | Published: 8/27/2025 | Author: The Onion Staff
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