Trump Finally Releases School Cash, Might Fund Class Clown
After playing the world's most stressful game of bureaucratic 'freeze tag', the Trump administration is finally thawing over $5 billion in school funds. This sudden warm-up comes after GOP senators sent a 'public plea' and over 20 governors filed a lawsuit, complaining the freeze 'caused chaos' (because whatâs summer without chaos?). Education Secretary McMahon blamed the holdup on the administration transition and a 'lengthy review,' promising, 'a year from now, we wouldnât find ourselves in the same situation.' That's like promising your WiFi will work next Christmasâbold, hopeful, and slightly suspect.
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Freezing billions for schools then releasing them after a lawsuit? Trump adminâs funding moves make winter sports look like a breeze. Staying put or going? Itâs just government playing musical chairs with our kidsâ futures.
Variant 1: GOP senators had to issue a 'public plea' for money meant for kidsâwhich was frozen like it forgot its mittens. Pro parenting move, right?
Variant 2: This funding drama is like waiting for a slow-mo Game of Thrones episodeâexcept the dragons are school lunch programs and the throne is overdue cash.
Source: Axios | Published: 7/25/2025 | Author: Sareen Habeshian
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