TikTok, Premier League Chefs & Mangos Walk Into 2025
Installer No. 102 from The Verge drops a spicy mix of random gems like Premier League footballers now demanding personal chefs (because who really wants to chew after dodging tackles?), TikTok's algorithm still dragging minds down a never-ending scroll hole, and deep sea divers somehow surfacing alongside each other in stories. Cory Doctorow's book 'Enshittification' gets a shoutout, probably because grit is the new glitter. Throw in the emotional rollercoaster vibes of the final WTF podcast with Barack Obama and someone's desperate plea to convince their kid to watch 'The Twits'—talk about a family night in! Also, NATO phonetics finally decoded, and yes, dried mangos were eaten, maybe to survive the madness.
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Nothing says future chaos like Premier League stars staffed with chefs, TikTok hijacking your brainwaves, and someone still trying to make 'The Twits' watchable. Meanwhile, dried mangos quietly judge us all from the snack bowl.
If Premier League players need personal chefs to eat post-match, how much energy do they actually burn waving their arms around wildly on the pitch?
TikTok's algorithm is the new prime minister of procrastination. If scrolling was a sport, we'd all be Olympic champions by 2025.
Source: Theverge | Published: 10/19/2025 | Author: David Pierce
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