Dogecoin-Era Techs Turn Social Security Into âDead Sea Scrollâ Memes
On Feb. 10, inside a windowless Baltimore SSA office, Leland Dudek proudly displayed a 20-foot flowchart dubbed the 'Dead Sea Scroll' â so tiny youâd need Gandalfâs magnifying glass to decipher decades-old Social Security tech. Enter DOGE, a supposed squad of 'crack technologists' led by Muskâs right-hand, with youthful coders like 21-year-old Akash Bobba tracing cryptic SSA code like Indiana Jones on steroids. But enthusiasm fizzled; DOGEers quickly swapped curiosity for headphone zombie mode, focusing on tweeting about 'nonexistent fraud' instead of fixing 60 million lines of 1980s software legacy or those frail limestone mine archives. Dudek, the unlikely Trump-era cop-turned-acting-commissioner, watched DOGE âscream like McDonaldâs managersâ while missing a golden chance to modernize a 90-year-old digital dinosaur.
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Social Security's tech update roadmap: a 20-foot scroll nobody reads, millennials jamming headphones, and fraud hunts on invisible villains. Modernization? Nah, letâs tweet instead.
Imagine hiring a tech SWAT team thatâs more into pressing mute buttons than actual fixes. That's DOGE at SSAââfind fraudâ = try to find meaning in a 20-foot ancient scroll.
The only thing faster than SSA's disability claims: DOGEâs speed at ghosting their own legacy software problems, proving bureaucracy is forever.
Source: Propublica | Published: 9/8/2025 | Author: by Eli Hager
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