Silicon Valley’s Donut Wake-Up Call: Meet the Glucose Goddess
Jessie Inchauspé, aka the Glucose Goddess, transformed a Silicon Valley sugar bender and mysterious donut-triggered brain fog into a 5-million-follower empire, thanks to a continuous glucose monitor (CGM) typically glasses-and-insulin territory. Partnering with Dexcom's Stelo CGM now legit enough to ditch prescriptions, she swears by morning protein to slay the blood sugar roller coaster that once made granola bars feel like sugar bombs. Her go-to snack upgrade? Apple with peanut butter—not grapes—which she allegedly punished for being too fast and furious in fiber. To quote the Goddess herself, glucose control 'only matters if you have diabetes' is as clueless as saying brushing teeth is just for cavities. Real talk: we’re all terrible drivers of our own metabolic buses, and Jessie’s just figured out where the donuts lurk.
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Congrats to Silicon Valley’s Glucose Goddess for turning donut despair into a multi-million follower cult—we’re all just one granola bar away from a screaming sugar crash and existential dread.
The Glucose Goddess says eating eggs beats feeling like a soggy granola bar brain blob at 3pm. Apparently, death by donut is real and reason enough to buy a $300 mood ring for your pancreas.
Who knew your blood sugar had attitude swings worthy of a soap opera? Jessie’s tracking her glucose like a stock trader because apparently knowing your donut aftermath is the next Silicon Valley productivity hack.
Source: Businessinsider | Published: 10/27/2025 | Author: Gabby Landsverk
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