Diplomatic Bazaaaar: US, Iran Haggle Over Uranium and Frozen Cash Like Market Chickens
KEY POINTS
- â˘Pakistani, Egyptian, and Turkish mediators planned to continue talks in hopes of reaching a deal before the April 21 ceasefire expires.
- â˘Vice President JD Vance led the US team in Islamabad, describing the talks as tough but productive and hopeful for a deal.
- â˘The US announced a naval blockade starting Monday at 10am ET to pressure Iran while insisting it wonât disrupt non-Iranian vessel navigation through the Strait of Hormuz.
In a thrilling episode of international poker played in Pakistan, Egyptian, Turkish, and Pakistani mediators awkwardly shuffled the deck between the US and Iran, aiming to slap on a ceasefire before April 21 like some diplomatic IKEA furniture flatpack. Vice President JD Vance, who apparently moonlights as a tough-but-friendly negotiator and bazaar haggler, sat down with Iranâs Abbas Araghchi, who claimed they were 'inches away' from victory before the US shifted the goalposts harder than a drunk limbo dancer. Meanwhile, Trump reportedly considered resuming strikes if the new naval blockadeâstarting Monday at 10am ETâdidnât get Iran to drop uranium like a hot mixtape. Iranâs ambassador to Pakistan called these talks a foundation for diplomacy, but Twitter-stans know itâs more like a reality show where the prize is billions in frozen assets and a ceasefire that might actually hold.
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(1 of 3)US and Iran settled on going to the âbazaarâ for peace talks where uranium stocks and frozen money get haggled beside a naval blockade that screams âserious businessââbecause nothing screams diplomacy like naval blockades and shifting goalposts.
If diplomacy were an online auction, US and Iran just bid on nuclear material while Turkey and Egypt awkwardly watch the bidding clock tick.
Vice President JD Vanceâs negotiating style? Friendly bazaari salesman swinging deals on uranium and frozen cash with a hint of naval intimidation.
Source: Axios | Published: 4/13/2026 | Author: Barak Ravid
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