Nature Study Finds Heat Turns Americans Into Sugar Junkies
According to a study published in Nature Climate Change—yes, scientists are busy confirming what your local 7-Eleven suspected—warmer weather makes Americans guzzle more added sugar, especially from sodas and frozen treats. The study doesn't mention which brand’s profits skyrocketed, but we can bet Coke and Ben & Jerry's are cashing in on the apocalypse like pros. That means as temperatures rise, so does our collective diabetes risk, all while we smugly sip on our ice-cold sweet poisons. The study is basically Mother Nature’s cringey love letter to obesity, handed down by peer-reviewed science and served cold with a cherry on top.
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Scientists confirm that when the weather heats up, Americans hide from the heat in a sugar tsunami of sodas and ice cream. So basically, climate change’s hottest side effect is turning us all into diabetic snowmen.
Warmer days pushing Americans toward sugar is basically Nature’s way of saying, 'Why fix climate change when you can just eat it away?'
A Nature study proves what every soda company knew: heatwave = profit spike. Even our climate crisis has a sweet tooth.
Source: Theonion | Published: 9/11/2025 | Author: The Onion Staff
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