Eric Adamsā Pigeon Bribe Scandal: Central Parkās New Power Dynamic
On a stress-free day that apparently demanded unconventional relaxation, New York City Mayor Eric Adams reportedly spent his valuable time bribing pigeons in Central Park. This peculiar method of chill vibes involved a generous distribution of bird snacksābecause when political pressures mount, why not corrupt the local avian population? This unique strategy may perhaps redefine political engagement, trading city hall stress for inexplicable park diplomacy. No word on whether the pigeons voted yet, but given their strategic perch all over Manhattanās public space, perhaps Adams is onto a feathery new campaign tactic. Imagine city politics run by pigeonsātalk about flyover governance!
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Eric Adams bribing pigeons for stress relief proves weāre one bribe away from bird-led democracy in NYC. When politics fail, try bribing the wildlifeāthey canāt talk back, only coo and steal your lunch.
Forget city budget meetingsāEric Adams' stress solution is a wildlife quid pro quo. Pigeons get snacks; mayor gets calm. Next up: raccoon lobbyists demanding better union rules.
Bribing pigeons in Central Park sounds like a power move until you realize the pigeons still ignore traffic signals better than NYC drivers. At least Adamsā bribes might improve bird politics.
Source: Theonion | Published: 9/30/2025 | Author: The Onion Staff
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