Research Grants Now Under FBI-Level Parental Supervision
In a move that sounds like universities just got their research grant money put in a straightjacket, the order clamps down on 'new and, possibly, ongoing research grant dollars' for universities and academic medical centers. Because apparently, science funding now requires a chaperone at every step. As the order declares, it 'applies to the entirety of new and, possibly, ongoing research grant dollars,' making nerds everywhere wonder if their grant money is about to face background checks or at least a timeout.
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Research grants now treated like your teenage allowance: monitored, restricted, and probably needing a hall pass. Welcome to the era of over-protective funding!
Universities getting their research grant dollars babysat like toddlers with candy. Someone call the funding cops, they’re enforcing new rules on new and ‘possibly’ ongoing money. Plot twist: ongoing means even your last semester’s grant is on probation.
This order is basically academic funding saying, 'I told you to be home by midnight or no grant for a week.' The drama is real — even research grants can’t escape a lockdown.
Source: Statnews | Published: 7/30/2025 | Author: Angus Chen, Megan Molteni, and Anil Oza
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