House Rejects NIH Axe, Then Wields Budget Machete Anyway
On a heartwarming Tuesday slated for groundbreaking coworking in Washington, House appropriators decided to play the role of benevolent budget surgeons. While canceling the NIH budget's proposed slash-a-thon, they are still carving deep cuts that have researchers wondering if the Department of Irony can fund their science first. The legislation markup left many scientists wondering if reduced budgets mean bigger discoveries or just bigger headaches. Meanwhile, the phrase 'mixed bag' might be code for a financial mystery meat sandwich, since NIH keeps funding so mysterious it sometimes feels like it’s hiding carbs instead of cures.
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Congress says 'we won’t cut NIH budget deeply!' and then cuts it deeply. Scientists, get ready for miracles on a shoestring and a whole lot of budget yoga.
The NIH budget dodgeball game: dodge the deep cuts, but still get hit somehow. Next round, Congress invents invisible cuts no one can see!
Congrats to House appropriators for upgrading 'slash the NIH budget' to 'stab it gently with a tiny scalpel.' Cutting-edge science funding, literally!
Source: Statnews | Published: 9/2/2025 | Author: John Wilkerson and Jonathan Wosen
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