Starlink’s Great Space Nap Leaves Earth Offline!
In a stunning display of cosmic timing, Starlink users were locked out of the internet for 2.5 hours on Thursday thanks to a 'failure of key internal software services.' The network outage, which knocked connectivity down to '16 percent of ordinary levels,' affected Ukrainian troops relying on Starlink 'across the entire front' for the longest outage of the war. Michael Nicolls, Starlink's engineering VP, assured fans that the network has now 'mostly recovered,' adding a sprinkle of corporate charm to chaos. At least now we get to savor the sweet suspense of unplugged life!
Share the Story
(1 of 3)Starlink goes down for 2.5 hours and suddenly we're all reminded how much we love analog yelling across the room. Internet outage or forced digital detox? You decide. #SpaceNap
Oh wow, Starlink failed us *again* with 'key internal software services' crashing. Guess the satellites needed a coffee break! Your internet on a cosmic snooze? Brilliant.
Starlink outage = like when your microwave starts a stubborn rebellion and refuses to beep. Except now it's your internet, not your popcorn, left steaming and sad.
Source: Theverge | Published: 7/24/2025 | Author: Richard Lawler
More Articles in Technology
Army Launches 9-1-1 Hotline Because Soldiers Really Love Calling IT
Epstein Survivors Declare 'Done' While Melania Passes the Buck Faster Than a Baton
Microsoft Finally Lets Windows 11 Fans Stop Pretending to Use ViVeTool
Parents Draft 'Phone Rental Agreement' Before Kids Can Touch Phones
Snap Promises AR Glasses This Year, Because We All Trusted 10 Years of Waiting
Married Couple’s AI Calls 20,000 Gas Stations, Uncovers Price Drama and Profanities
OpenAI Now Charges $100 For ChatGPT To Code You Into Bankruptcy
