Space Force Outsources Space Race, Aliens Demand ID
In a shocking turn of events, the Space Force has admitted that the best way to "leverage commercial competition" for its PTS program is to basically hold auditions for the universe's most chaotic space startups. Sources confirm one official boldly stated, 'The next phase of our PTS program is all about bringing in fresh, private sector madness to save taxpayer dollars.' Experts confirm that private companies are already prepping wild pitches like intergalactic taco delivery drones and competitive black-hole insurance to win the coveted Space Force approval.
Share the Story
Space Force confirms they can’t do space alone, hires aliens to "commercially compete" for next phase. Galactic Monopoly just went public, and Earth is Wall Street's new playground.
The Space Force using commercial competition is like NASA hiring Fiverr freelancers to build their rockets. Nothing screams interstellar success like bidding wars for moon pie patents.
Space Force leverages companies to finish what government confusion started. Expect asteroid-sized startups promising you teleportation for $19.99/month.
Source: Techcrunch | Published: 7/29/2025 | Author: Aria Alamalhodaei
More Articles in Science
America Celebrates Lower Gun Deaths While Puffing More Vape Clouds
Grandfather Gifts $1,500 with Guest Star Role for Financial Advisor
TCL and Hisense Finally Throw Shade at Sony, LG, Samsung’s Premium TV Party
SpaceX’s Starlink Satellite Has Midlife Crisis, Explodes Dramatically
Scientists Officially Declare Adulthood Brain Is Just Long Teenage Brain Saga
Ozone Hole Slowly Shrinks, Planet Pretends To Care Until Next Summer
Leonids Showers: Stargaze Naps & Smoke Trails, Not Meteorites
Bezos' New Glenn: Rocket Spat Out Mars, Slurped Booster Back
