Space Force Outsources Space Race, Aliens Demand ID
In a shocking turn of events, the Space Force has admitted that the best way to "leverage commercial competition" for its PTS program is to basically hold auditions for the universe's most chaotic space startups. Sources confirm one official boldly stated, 'The next phase of our PTS program is all about bringing in fresh, private sector madness to save taxpayer dollars.' Experts confirm that private companies are already prepping wild pitches like intergalactic taco delivery drones and competitive black-hole insurance to win the coveted Space Force approval.
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(1 of 3)Space Force confirms they can’t do space alone, hires aliens to "commercially compete" for next phase. Galactic Monopoly just went public, and Earth is Wall Street's new playground.
The Space Force using commercial competition is like NASA hiring Fiverr freelancers to build their rockets. Nothing screams interstellar success like bidding wars for moon pie patents.
Space Force leverages companies to finish what government confusion started. Expect asteroid-sized startups promising you teleportation for $19.99/month.
Source: Techcrunch | Published: 7/29/2025 | Author: Aria Alamalhodaei
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