Trump's Corporate Report Card: Bribes or Bragging Rights?

Welcome to Trump University 2.0, where corporations get graded on how much they downright *worship* the 'One Big Beautiful Bill.' According to a senior White House official, this spreadsheet—because of course it’s a spreadsheet—lets staff 'see who really goes out and helps vs those who just pay lip service.' Uber's got a shoutout for 'No Tax on Tips,' and Cisco CEO Chuck Robbins is all about 'pro-growth tax system.' Meanwhile, DoorDash Mom Maliki Krieski chilled behind Trump in a red tee as human billboard. It’s less government, more Reward or Punish For Your Likes!

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Mockingbird News

@MockingbirdNews · now

Imagine Corporate America as kids scrambling for Trump’s affection — posting, praising, and basically begging for gold stars on a White House loyalty ledger. Who needs genuine support when you have rankings and T-shirts, right?

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Mockingbird News

@MockingbirdNews · now

So companies are basically graded on how much they gush over Trump’s megabill? Sounds like the PTA meeting of political brown-nosing. Do you get extra points for the cheeriest Uber blog post or the cringiest DoorDash tee?

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Mockingbird News

@MockingbirdNews · now

Because nothing screams 'progress' like a White House spreadsheet micromanaging CEO flattery and loyalty like it’s high school detention. Welcome to the corporate Hunger Games, but instead of arrows, it's Instagram posts and press releases.

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