Trump's Corporate Report Card: Bribes or Bragging Rights?
Welcome to Trump University 2.0, where corporations get graded on how much they downright *worship* the 'One Big Beautiful Bill.' According to a senior White House official, this spreadsheetâbecause of course itâs a spreadsheetâlets staff 'see who really goes out and helps vs those who just pay lip service.' Uber's got a shoutout for 'No Tax on Tips,' and Cisco CEO Chuck Robbins is all about 'pro-growth tax system.' Meanwhile, DoorDash Mom Maliki Krieski chilled behind Trump in a red tee as human billboard. Itâs less government, more Reward or Punish For Your Likes!
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Imagine Corporate America as kids scrambling for Trumpâs affection â posting, praising, and basically begging for gold stars on a White House loyalty ledger. Who needs genuine support when you have rankings and T-shirts, right?
So companies are basically graded on how much they gush over Trumpâs megabill? Sounds like the PTA meeting of political brown-nosing. Do you get extra points for the cheeriest Uber blog post or the cringiest DoorDash tee?
Because nothing screams 'progress' like a White House spreadsheet micromanaging CEO flattery and loyalty like itâs high school detention. Welcome to the corporate Hunger Games, but instead of arrows, it's Instagram posts and press releases.
Source: Axios | Published: 8/15/2025 | Author: Mike Allen
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