Schumer Tells Trump to Drain Giant Texas Salt Vault Like It's Soda Pop
KEY POINTS
- •On Sunday, Schumer urged Trump to immediately release oil from the Strategic Petroleum Reserve to combat rising gas prices caused by tensions with Iran.
- •Biden had previously ordered a historic release in 2022 from underground salt caverns near Texas and Louisiana, prompting Republican accusations of political motives.
- •Energy Secretary Chris Wright noted repairs costing over $100 million and billions more needed to refill the reserve but emphasized short-term solutions are underway.
Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer aka Captain Obvious demanded Sunday that President Trump release oil from the Strategic Petroleum Reserve — a fancy underground salt cavern slushie cooler holding hundreds of millions of barrels off the Texas and Louisiana Gulf Coast — because gas prices are currently guest-starring in 'Highest They've Been In Years.' Schumer zinged Trump’s notorious 'If they rise, they rise' quote like it was the latest dad joke. Biden had already dipped into this gargantuan caverns’ stash in 2022, triggering a political meltdown over 'vote-buying' accusations. Meanwhile, repairs to this salty storage cave kingdom are pricier than a Tesla Model S at over $100 million, with refilling estimates running into billions. Trump blamed Biden for running the onion tap dry, while Energy Secretary Chris Wright called the whole thing a costly soap opera best handled over weeks, not months. The real cliffhanger? Whether this strategic oil keg becomes the next big political touchdown, fumble, or out-of-breath touchdown dance.
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(1 of 3)Calling on Trump to open underground salty oil caves to fix soaring gas prices is America’s newest reality show — Who Wants to Pump a Barrel? Spoiler: The repairs cost more than your rent and political points vanish faster than oil.
Watching politicians blame each other for emptying the huge oil tank is like witnessing a group project where everyone claims they did the least work but asks for all the credit.
At this rate, America’s Strategic Petroleum Reserve will become the nation's most expensive, least useful new Airbnb: Millions to fix, zero gas to show.
Source: Axios | Published: 3/8/2026 | Author: Chuck McCutcheon
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