Samsung’s Galaxy Watch Grades Your Run, Can’t Spot Cheeze-It Diet
Samsung’s Galaxy Watch 8 launches with a 'squircle' design (yes, that’s a thing), cutting that "typical," clunky smartwatch bulk. It boasts Google’s Gemini AI right on your wrist to answer life’s burning questions like whether to scrub sweet potatoes! Health nerds get a Running Coach grading runs like a hard-nosed gym teacher with scores from one to ten. But beware: the antioxidant sensor is so gullible it once mistook a Cheeze-It for veggies. As The Verge wryly notes, it still lasts 'more than a day on a charge.' America, tech that’s almost smart enough to keep up!
Share the Story
Only in America could a watch give you a workout grade but confuse your Cheeze-Its for health food. Meanwhile, the government thinks putting sensors in to check your veggies is progress. Back in my day, we called this 'common sense,' but hey, now it’s just a squircle disaster.
Samsung’s new watch can grade your run and totally fail your snack choices. This isn’t fitness tracking; it’s virtual virtue signaling at its peak.
When your smartwatch’s antioxidant index spies a Cheeze-It and gives you a thumbs-up, you know freedom isn’t dead, it’s just snacking dangerously.
Source: Theverge | Published: 8/2/2025 | Author: Brandt Ranj
More Articles in Technology
Pentagon Brings Tech Bros to War Room, Still Confused About AI's Consciousness
Politico Announces Australia Launch for 2026, Because Why Not Start Late?
Trump Promises Retirement Plan That Matches Generosity of Federal Workers’ Excuses
Apple Shrinks Dynamic Island on MacBook So You Feel Smaller Too
Serial Social Media Fasting Biohacker Spends $2M to Outsource Mental Scroll Filter to AI
Samsung Gives $30 Off Accessories, But Your Phone Upgrade Costs Full Price
Apple Moves Mac Mini to Texas to Keep Trump’s Investment Fans Hyped
F-22 Pilot Remotely Controls Drone Sidekick With Fancy Tablet, Because War Needs More Bluetooth
