Sam Altmanās Brain Startup: Pay Me to Merge with Your Thoughts
Hold onto your neurons: Sam Altman, CEO of AI overlord OpenAI, is assembling a brainy dream team for Merge Labs, his soon-to-be-announced brain-computer interface startup. Enter Mikhail Shapiro, an award-winning biomolecular engineer whoās basically the Dr. Frankenstein of biogenetics, hired to give Merge cred and charm investors. Sources confirm talks are hoppinā with OpenAI and mysterious others ready to toss hundreds of millions of dollars into the mix like itās a Vegas chip pool. The official job title? Classified. The promise? Merging future tech with your gray matter. Meanwhile, Alex Blania, co-founder, is probably making sure the wires donāt tangle.
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Merge Labs: where top scientists and tech bros will soon find out if your brain can legally write a TED Talk or just Glitch IRL. All for the low, low price of hundreds of millionsābecause why not Shuttle Neurons to Mars later?
If you thought selling your data was scary, just wait until Sam Altmanās Merge Labs asks to sell your very thoughts. Coming soon: brain updates you canāt skip in the privacy policy.
Sam Altman just turned sci-fi into "letās give your brain a LinkedIn profile" with Merge Labs. Raise your hand if you want to *literally* sync with capitalism.
Source: Theverge | Published: 10/25/2025 | Author: Alex Heath
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